Skip Nav
Watch Our LIVE Holiday Gift Guide Show Now and Win Big!
Movie Trailers
These 2016 Romance Movies Are Equal Parts Sweet and Steamy
Holiday Living
42 Love Quotes From Your Favorite Holiday Films

You Asked: My Friend is Obsessed With Her Chest!

Dear Sugar--

My friend is absolutely obsessed with her chest size. She's no more than an A cup, but I think she is beautiful the way she is. I tell her this all the time, and I point out all the awesome outfits she can wear braless, plus she has a boyfriend who loves her and her small chest, but her insecurities about it are making her jealous and suspicious when it comes to his faithfulness. Granted his ex girlfriends have been a different body type than her, but they are still EX girlfriends, so it's obvious that they weren't cutting it.

She really wants to get plastic surgery, but I'm afraid she's putting too much faith that breast augmentation will change her self esteem. Surgery is only a temporary fix for a major self esteem issue. I can't even help her because I'm a 32 E, and anything I say doesn't register. I just don't want her to make a decision that could possibly be very dangerous. How can I help her see how beautiful she is?

--Concerned Carrie

To see DEARSUGAR's answer

Dear Concerned Carrie --

It's great that you are being so supportive in trying to help your friend see how beautiful she is on her own. Plastic surgery is a huge deal and there can be many complications during and after the surgery, which I'm sure is why you don't want her to go through with this. Plus, you're right, getting this kind of surgery is not a sure fix for all your insecurities.

If telling her how perfect she is on her own isn't working, maybe you can fill her in on what it's like having big breasts. You can remind her how hard it is to find shirts and dresses that fit when you're bigger breasted, and how much your boobs hurt when you exercise or get your period. In addition, breast implants feel and look different than regular breasts and if you have an augmentation, you can run the risk of not being able to nurse your baby if you want to, or you can lose all sensitivity.

If she does decide to get the surgery, she'll meet with a plastic surgeon that will go through all the medical risks. When she finds out how much it will hurt, how much it will cost, and how long it takes to heal, she may have second thoughts. If she still wants to go through with it, and being small-chested upsets her that much, having this surgery might really make her feel better about herself and if that's the case, it's her body and her decision. All you can do is continue to be the supportive friend she needs.

Source

Around The Web
Join The Conversation
theclapmaster theclapmaster 8 years
I love my new boobs :] My rightie tightie is called Hector and my lefty loosey ;} is named Lucy. I feel like a real woman now!! I don't care what anyone says, you aren't a beautiful woman unless you have at least a C cup. Stop lying to yourselves. I mean, it's only a few thousand dollars till you can be a major hottie. Free if you join the Navy in australia, that's how i could afford mine!
princess_eab princess_eab 9 years
In our culture, flat-chested girls look SO much more elegant and classy. I have always loathed being a C-cup because they were that size by the time I was 12, so you can imagine the horrifying, unwanted male attention I got. I actually wanted a reduction until I went to college and realized having boobs wasn't totally awful. But if I had the choice, I'd definitely go with flat-chested and thin rather than the curvy, ridiculous hourglass figure I'm stuck with. Big boobs are a curse. Unless, of course, you have chosen to get implants, which are designed to be light and perky. Unfortch "real" big boobs have a natural shape and can hurt. I think your friend's main problem might lie with her insecurities in her relationship and within herself, honestly.
princess_eab princess_eab 9 years
In our culture, flat-chested girls look SO much more elegant and classy. I have always loathed being a C-cup because they were that size by the time I was 12, so you can imagine the horrifying, unwanted male attention I got. I actually wanted a reduction until I went to college and realized having boobs wasn't totally awful. But if I had the choice, I'd definitely go with flat-chested and thin rather than the curvy, ridiculous hourglass figure I'm stuck with. Big boobs are a curse. Unless, of course, you have chosen to get implants, which are designed to be light and perky. Unfortch "real" big boobs have a natural shape and can hurt.I think your friend's main problem might lie with her insecurities in her relationship and within herself, honestly.
viridiana viridiana 9 years
I have no complaints with my breasts whatsoever... They have the perfect amount, but I always have to wear a bra, and I kind of dislike it... I rather wear a top or no wire bras... I love, for example, that Kate Hudson has almost a flat chest and she doesn't need to wear a bra most of the time, also girls flat chested looked amazing and so elegant with large cleaveges. I had a friend who had implants and she suffer a lot with pain...
ThePerfectScore ThePerfectScore 9 years
bandages.... 32 E is my specific size... I have measured by several different lingerie places... But proportion wise it's basically a 34 D... altho 32 E has the better fit...
rmwallis rmwallis 9 years
I am the administrator of three Cosmetic Surgery Clinics. We see a lot of patients with your friends concerns, and we also see a lot of friends like yourself. It is very important to be knowledgeable about the breast augmentation procedure including all of its risks. However, it is more important to pick a Board Certified Plastic Surgeon. There a lot of Ear, nose, and throat doctors preforming plastic surgery today, and that is a scary thing. So, your friend needs to come to terms that this procedure is not going to work a miracle for her self asteem if she's having other issues masked by her breast size....you are definately right about that. However, if her breast size is truely her only hangup, then certainly having this procedure preformed will make her more self assured! If you visit www.plasticsurgery.org you will find a list of Board Certified surgeons in your area.Also, I would be most willing to answer any questions as well.There is a lot to consider when having a breast augmentation. One of the things that a lot of surgeons neglect telling the patient is that the procedure will take an extreme emotional toll on their body. Patients experience an emotional rollercoaster in most cases. The reason being: the pain and soreness, the swelling, hardness, and deformation of the breasts initially. Meaning, the breasts are not "pretty" as I like to say until about 2 months after surgery when they have settled and all the swelling has subsided. During those first two months they will look pointy, be setting very high on the chest, and feel very hard. After those two months, they will have settled in to a nice pocket, became softer, and the swelling should have deminished completely. It's both a physical and emotional healing!
rmwallis rmwallis 9 years
I am the administrator of three Cosmetic Surgery Clinics. We see a lot of patients with your friends concerns, and we also see a lot of friends like yourself. It is very important to be knowledgeable about the breast augmentation procedure including all of its risks. However, it is more important to pick a Board Certified Plastic Surgeon. There a lot of Ear, nose, and throat doctors preforming plastic surgery today, and that is a scary thing. So, your friend needs to come to terms that this procedure is not going to work a miracle for her self asteem if she's having other issues masked by her breast size....you are definately right about that. However, if her breast size is truely her only hangup, then certainly having this procedure preformed will make her more self assured! If you visit www.plasticsurgery.org you will find a list of Board Certified surgeons in your area. Also, I would be most willing to answer any questions as well. There is a lot to consider when having a breast augmentation. One of the things that a lot of surgeons neglect telling the patient is that the procedure will take an extreme emotional toll on their body. Patients experience an emotional rollercoaster in most cases. The reason being: the pain and soreness, the swelling, hardness, and deformation of the breasts initially. Meaning, the breasts are not "pretty" as I like to say until about 2 months after surgery when they have settled and all the swelling has subsided. During those first two months they will look pointy, be setting very high on the chest, and feel very hard. After those two months, they will have settled in to a nice pocket, became softer, and the swelling should have deminished completely. It's both a physical and emotional healing!
bandages bandages 9 years
How do you have 32E's? Oh my goodness.
FB1977 FB1977 9 years
LOL Bella I love it!My BF doesn't care either...and tells me I would look ridiculous with huge breasts (I'm pretty petite). It does suck though cos I always have to wear a bra, and it NEEDS to be padded.
FB1977 FB1977 9 years
LOL Bella I love it! My BF doesn't care either...and tells me I would look ridiculous with huge breasts (I'm pretty petite). It does suck though cos I always have to wear a bra, and it NEEDS to be padded.
ReverendZelda ReverendZelda 9 years
I've had the opposite problem. When I was in highschool I discovered that guys really only cared about my chest, and it's really affected me ever since. Guys would stare at my chest, and try to get me into dark corners to fool around with them, but when it came time to actually talk to me in public, they wanted nothing to do with me. I started to feel like the only value that I had was my chest and that I was basically totally worthless. It took my husband to snap me out of it. I still have body images because of this and rarely wear tight clothing.
hokie-girl hokie-girl 9 years
Bella, I am also a card carrying member of the I.B.T.C. Although at times I wish they were bigger, my husbands thinks they are sexy the way they are and says I "wear them well" which is a nice compliment coming from a guy who has always been big boob guy.
nicachica nicachica 9 years
i second that! LOL Bella! :)
nicachica nicachica 9 years
i second that! LOL Bella! :)
jennifer76 jennifer76 9 years
:rotfl: Bella!
jennifer76 jennifer76 9 years
:rotfl: Bella!
soberness soberness 9 years
i'm too rather flat (A-B cup) , and used to have this issue . i got over it , and adopted another image . i stopped obsessing over the 'curvy' figure , and decided skinny would do better for me . skinny can be incredibly sexy if you ask me - i love it . nyways point being - work with what you've got , nothings sexier than that . if a guy dumps/cheats on you because of that , he is an ass and isn't worth it anyways .
Daisy6264 Daisy6264 9 years
Carrie you sound like a good friend.
Beauty Beauty 9 years
It sounds like your friend may have insecurities that go beyond her cup size, especially if she's suspicious of her boyfriend's fidelity. I think one of the hardest things in life is learning how to be accepted with all of our qualities and flaws (and perceived "flaws" such as having a small chest). Her boyfriend can praise her small chest all he wants, but until SHE feels that it's beautiful, nothing will change. Sounds like you are being a good friend by telling her that she's all right as she is. Keep doing that!Sincerely,Staff Sergeant, I.B.T.C., Division 30A
Beauty Beauty 9 years
It sounds like your friend may have insecurities that go beyond her cup size, especially if she's suspicious of her boyfriend's fidelity. I think one of the hardest things in life is learning how to be accepted with all of our qualities and flaws (and perceived "flaws" such as having a small chest). Her boyfriend can praise her small chest all he wants, but until SHE feels that it's beautiful, nothing will change. Sounds like you are being a good friend by telling her that she's all right as she is. Keep doing that! Sincerely, Staff Sergeant, I.B.T.C., Division 30A
doowop doowop 9 years
I'm totally fine with someone getting implants, but i think there is never a good enough reason to put your body through so much just to look "good". Its saddening that there will never be a way to erase the unreasonable body images in the world, all we can do it begin with our own kids and try to give them a fresh start. While someone might look or feel more "attractive" with bigger/smaller this or that, your friend doesn't need the negative sexual attention with disregard to anything else that makes her wonderful.
doowop doowop 9 years
I'm totally fine with someone getting implants, but i think there is never a good enough reason to put your body through so much just to look "good". Its saddening that there will never be a way to erase the unreasonable body images in the world, all we can do it begin with our own kids and try to give them a fresh start.While someone might look or feel more "attractive" with bigger/smaller this or that, your friend doesn't need the negative sexual attention with disregard to anything else that makes her wonderful.
mizlynz mizlynz 9 years
I do agree that surgery is a serious thing for a superficial answer to what is obviously an esteem issue, but if she goes through all the necessary steps and still feels like she'd be happier with a bigger cup size, then it's ultimately up to her. I will say that if she's doing it because she thinks it will make her more attractive to men(that's kind of how I read into it...you can tell me if I'm wrong), then her reasoning for wanting breast augmentation is horribly flawed.
mizlynz mizlynz 9 years
I do agree that surgery is a serious thing for a superficial answer to what is obviously an esteem issue, but if she goes through all the necessary steps and still feels like she'd be happier with a bigger cup size, then it's ultimately up to her.I will say that if she's doing it because she thinks it will make her more attractive to men(that's kind of how I read into it...you can tell me if I'm wrong), then her reasoning for wanting breast augmentation is horribly flawed.
jennifer76 jennifer76 9 years
If she's accusing her boyfriend of being unfaithful based on breast size, then it sounds like you're right and she has issues beyond someone who would just be happier with a change in a certain part of their body.That said, your friend is an adult. You've told her what you thought, and she just doesn't agree. Sometimes you have to just accept that people will do what *they* think is best and that may not always be what *you* think is best.
Angelina Jolie and Brad Pit File For Divorce | Video
How Lemon Water Affects Sex Drive
Teen Sex at Home
Tech Obsession Study
New Year's Eve Kiss Stories
How to Avoid a Holiday Sex Slump
Teen Sexting Facts and Figures

POPSUGAR, the #1 independent media and technology company for women. Where more than 75 million women go for original, inspirational content that feeds their passions and interests.

From Our Partners
Latest Love
All the Latest From Ryan Reynolds