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You Asked: Never Been in a Relationship


Dear Sugar —
I am in my early 20s, attending a good university but there's something that has bugged me for a long time — I have never had a boyfriend or had someone tell me that they like me and I don't understand why. I feel so embarrassed by the fact that all my girlfriends have had relationships or hookups in the past and I've had close to none. I feel like I'm pretty approachable but I don't understand why guys don't pursue me. People always say I look so "cute and attractive," and I certainly don't think I'm hideous so I'm just so confused. I know that being shy has a lot to do with it, so can you help me step out of my shell and be more outgoing around guys? — Shy Shelby

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Dear Shy Shelby,

While I'm sure it's easy to compare yourself and your experiences to your girlfriends, keep in mind that everyone is different. Never having a relationship is nothing to be embarrassed about — finding love is not a contest. If you want to meet people, you're going to have to put yourself out there. Being shy might make this more difficult for you, but if you push yourself a little bit outside your comfort zone, I'm pretty sure it will pay off in the long run.

As E. Jean once said, if you place yourself where there are high numbers of men, it becomes a mathematical certainty you will meet someone. Since you're still in school, join a book club, or go to parties with your girlfriends, study in a cafe instead of your room, hit the gym or try to get involved in more school activities. If you keep your spirits and self confidence high, you'll become more approachable and you'll feel more worthy of the possibility of meeting someone. Be patient Shelby and when you least expect it, it will happen for you. Good luck.

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