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You Asked: Is It Normal That He Kept Pictures of His Ex?

Dear Sugar,

When I broke up with my boyfriend, I was devastated. We were head over heels for each other but things just weren't working out so we ended it. At one point when I was trying to get over him, I threw away all the pictures I had of him and us, all the CDs he made me, and anything that reminded me of him. I've completely moved on and I'm actually married to someone else, but I recently found pictures of my husband's ex-girlfriend in a desk drawer. I know that everyone moves on from past relationships differently, but is it normal that he still has photos of this girl years later? I understand that she was an important person in his life, but why does he need reminders of her now that he's happily married to me? — A Little Annoyed Amber

To see DearSugar's answer

Dear A Little Annoyed Amber,

You're right, everyone moves on from past relationships differently, so while purging all your memories of your ex worked for you, it sounds as though your husband doesn't share the same sentiment. If these pictures make you uncomfortable, bring it to your husband's attention. Ask him why he's holding onto reminders of her, but realize that keeping old memorabilia might not have anything to do with you or your relationship. Sure, it might make you feel vulnerable, but remember that we all have pasts — the good, the bad, and the exes. Open the lines of communication around what you found and how it makes you feel, ask the questions you need answers to, and hopefully you'll be able to keep it all relative. I hope I was of some help.


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