I'm getting married in a few months, and I asked my four closest girl friends to be my bridesmaids. Three of the girls have been amazing, but I've been having a lot of issues with the last girl. They were kind enough to throw me a lovely bachelorette party, but they had a hard time settling on the date because the girl in question was always "busy." They finally settled on a date that worked for her, and then three weeks before the party, she called to tell me that she couldn't make it because she decided to take a vacation instead. I feel extremely hurt because I knew the other girls bent over backwards to accommodate her because we all felt it was important for her to attend since she was a bridesmaid. Am I wrong to be hurt that she would miss my bachelorette party so she could go on a vacation instead? — Peeved Penelope
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Dear Peeved Penelope,
I have to say that I'm on your side on this one — your friend is being incredibly selfish by purposely making vacation plans on the same weekend as your bachelorette party. Not only did she create a ruckus by making the date all about her, but she's clearly showing you where her priorities lie. Since she's already made her decision, there's nothing you can do now, so try not to let her absence ruin your bachelorette party or your wedding day.
Although brides are typically the ones that become overwhelmed during wedding planning time, perhaps your friend is going through something that you're unaware of. Could she be jealous that you're getting married and she's not? Could she be having marital problems if she's already married? She could also have bailed out on your weekend with the girls simply because the attention was not going to be on her.
Since your feelings are rightfully hurt, I'd talk to her about it. Let her know how she made you feel and perhaps ask if there's something bothering her that she wants to talk about. If she says no, remember that this is her problem, not yours, and hopefully by the time your wedding comes around, she can stand by your side and support you on your big day.