I'm in my first relationship with this sweet guy, basically I couldn't have asked for a better guy to be my first boyfriend. We've been officially "together" for about two months and I love spending time. We don't have too many things in common, but it's always fun when we are together.
In our two months together, we've rushed the physical part (which I'm totally okay with), but I've dragged my feet on the relationship/emotional part. At this point, we basically live together since we spend pretty much all available free time together. It took me a month before I could say I was his girlfriend, where as he's already told me he loves me (which I wasn't prepared for). Sometimes I feel like maybe I'm in this relationship because I like the idea of caring for someone and that person caring for me more than the actual person I am dating.
In the beginning I was looking for a fun casual situation, but now it's evolved into a relationship and I'm not sure I'm handling it right. How do I know I'm not just being commitment phobic and just freaking out by the speed of everything or if I'm just prolonging something they'll inevitably leave someone being hurt? Is that what I'm doing? Please help. --Miscalculating Meghan
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Dear Miscalculating Meghan--
Unfortunately, only you can be the judge of your feelings for this man. Finding someone whose company you enjoy and whom you care for on an intimate level is a great feeling, you're right, but if you're unsure if your feelings and intentions are pure, you have to ask yourself the tough questions.
Are you more concerned with your feelings for him or with the speed in which your relationship is progressing? Being scared is completely normal, but if you are feeling too pressured to be tied down, talk to him and let him know you want to slow things down. It sounds like you care a great deal for him and truly enjoy his company, so before making any snap decisions, have a heart to heart with him.
On the flip side, listen to your gut instinct and follow your intuition. If you don't feel like you are in it to win it so to speak, the right thing to do is to end your relationship now before any more time is wasted. He is being very open with you about his feelings and he deserves the same from you.
Perhaps some space will give you a chance to gain some perspective on your true feelings for this guy. While all women enjoy being loved and cared for, be honest with your feelings and don't lead him on, you will only be hurting yourself in the long run.