I'm very troubled and in pain. I'm married, and have been with my husband for 5 years. Everything is perfect. He's a great guy and he loves me so much.
But I did something horrible. I cheated...with my boss who's also been a good friend of mine for the last 6 years. He's a big time player and I know being with him is wrong in all aspects, but we are just so attracted to each other. As a friend and subordinate, he treats me very well, but as a woman I feel so dirty because I know he just wants it to be a secret and he still wants to be with other women.
I just want to forget him and move on, but don't want to lose my job. I don't know what to do, please help.
--Don't Know What to Do Dorothy
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Dear Don't Know What to Do Dorothy--
I'm a little concerned here since all you're worried about is losing your job. What about the risk of losing your husband? Is that even an issue here? Or did you cheat because you are unhappy in your marriage? Having sex with someone else while you're married is never okay, even if you do want a divorce. You made vows at your wedding and you owe it to your partner to live by them.
That being said, people do make mistakes and it sounds like you are trying to fix this situation, which is great. You must end this affair with your boss immediately. You're just in a bad situation since you obviously are falling for him and it's pretty clear that he's busy fooling around with a bunch of other women, which isn't only putting you at risk, but your husband as well.
Explain to your boss that you've realized this affair is wrong and you can't risk your husband, and your job. I know you love your job, but being around your boss is going to be really difficult. Perhaps you can get transferred to a different department so you don't have to deal with him directly or see him at all? I'm sure your boss would agree that that's the best option. I hope this helps Dorothy and good luck to you.