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You Asked: Should I Grow It Out For Him?

Dear Sugar,

My boyfriend of almost two years wants me to go natural down there — something I haven't done since I was a child. I feel really self-conscious about my vaginal hair. I think it's gross, but it turns him on. There would be a lot less pain involved, and a lot less time wasted, but I'm still scared. Help! — Hair Free Hadley

To see Dear Sugar's answer

Dear Hair Free Hadley,

If you feel uncomfortable growing out your pubic hair, don't. Of course you want to please your boyfriend and have him find you desirable, but if you are going to feel self-conscious
with hair down there, you're not going to be able to enjoy your intimate time together.

A lot of people think pubic hair is gross — why else would there be such a market for hair removal? — but it's all about personal preference. If you're simply scared about what it will look like or how it will feel, perhaps you could just give it a shot, just once, and if you're unhappy with the results then all you have to do is shave or wax it ASAP! If you're totally opposed, let your boyfriend know how unsexy you'll feel, and hopefully he will be understanding. Whatever decision you make, be sure to talk to him and keep the lines of communication open, as I'm sure he'll want you to feel beautiful and sexy in the bedroom.

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AutumnM AutumnM 7 years
don't even know why you would want to shave your pubic hair in the first place, i always love looking at my pubes and they make me proud!
cloeyxd cloeyxd 8 years
As most people have said... It's not like you can't just take it all off again.Maybe you could try compromising... There are many different styles of waxes you can get, so maybe you could try taking a little less off than normal?At the end of the day, it's your body; if you really can't stand it then do what feels best for you, and he should respect that.You never know, for all the extra amount you turn him on by being bare down there... It might be worth it. ;)
cloeyxd cloeyxd 8 years
As most people have said... It's not like you can't just take it all off again. Maybe you could try compromising... There are many different styles of waxes you can get, so maybe you could try taking a little less off than normal? At the end of the day, it's your body; if you really can't stand it then do what feels best for you, and he should respect that. You never know, for all the extra amount you turn him on by being bare down there... It might be worth it. ;)
tropicalsiren tropicalsiren 8 years
I think you are lucky you actually have a man like that! I don't shave/wax on daily basis, more like every 2 weeks and beacuse of that i don't have ingrows(which i found really unsexy) and sensitivity down there. My boyfriend likes my routine beacuse it changes things up and it's not always the same and i always keep neat. i say try! you never know..
vmruby vmruby 8 years
Do whatever you feel comfortable with, not what someone else thinks you should do.....
michelle-c42934 michelle-c42934 8 years
If you are completely hair free, you could try beginning with a compromise - keep it short and neat, and as you feel braver let it get a little wilder. Explain to him how you feel, and what you are doing, hopefully he'll appreciate you trying.......but if he's a jerk about it then go back to how you like it.
porkypocky porkypocky 8 years
Can't you just...grow it out but trim it so it looks nice and neat? Seems like a happy medium for both parties.
poizenisxkandee poizenisxkandee 8 years
oh btw, i did mean maybe try it. if you dont like it or cant stand it growing out, you know you can get rid of it. have fun!
LuvLeoDiCaprio LuvLeoDiCaprio 8 years
My guy likes it at first I was like this is annoying but whatever it doesn't phase me. He makes me feel sexy regardless adn I always feel sexy anyway. Plus to me being completely bare down there would make me feel like a kid again. But at the end of the day you gotta do what makes YOU feel good and if he really cares it will be water under the bridge no matter what you decide. Also it's not like you can't shave it again or wax and it it's not poison!
Poster-of-a-Girl Poster-of-a-Girl 8 years
Haa, okay here's the story: I had the same issue once, and I decided to do it for him and i was all self conscious and he was all "Don't worry, it will be really sexy" and so I started growing it out and still felt all self-conscious and then he didn't like it! He like, stopped going down on me! Bastard....Not to scare you off or anything. Damn bastard.
Poster-of-a-Girl Poster-of-a-Girl 8 years
Haa, okay here's the story: I had the same issue once, and I decided to do it for him and i was all self conscious and he was all "Don't worry, it will be really sexy" and so I started growing it out and still felt all self-conscious and then he didn't like it! He like, stopped going down on me! Bastard. ...Not to scare you off or anything. Damn bastard.
RockAndRepublic RockAndRepublic 8 years
Yeah, i dare a guy not to complain over shaving bob and the boys.
remedios remedios 8 years
Sounds joyful to me. What are you afraid is going to happen? Maggots start growing? Just give it a shot for a while. If you really really still hate it (I can't figure out why you would, but that's just me; obviously others agree with you) then talk to him again and tell him how you feel and that you're going to have to start waxing again (or whatever your preferred method is). But at least that way you were considerate and tried it.
Asia84 Asia84 8 years
EEWWWWW. I hate Pubic hair!!!i had a boyfriend who wanted me to grow mines out (key word is HAD. Ok, that's not why were are no longer together).i gave it a whirl; about a week. OMG, I was soo disgusted by it. It felt nasty.I end up doing an emergency shave (i normally wax). I shaved my conch faster than Britney had a meltdown.He was like, "aww, it was sexy though. i wanted a full bush!"I told him I needed to feel sexy. Pubes = unsexy (for me)Feeling unsexy = not wanting to have sexNot wanting to have sex = BAD (for him)I ALWAYS get what i want. (evil laugh).you can try it, but you're like me, you won't make it.and i agree with Rock&Republic: do it for yourself.Make him wax his balls (sorry to offend).
Asia84 Asia84 8 years
EEWWWWW. I hate Pubic hair!!! i had a boyfriend who wanted me to grow mines out (key word is HAD. Ok, that's not why were are no longer together). i gave it a whirl; about a week. OMG, I was soo disgusted by it. It felt nasty. I end up doing an emergency shave (i normally wax). I shaved my conch faster than Britney had a meltdown. He was like, "aww, it was sexy though. i wanted a full bush!" I told him I needed to feel sexy. Pubes = unsexy (for me) Feeling unsexy = not wanting to have sex Not wanting to have sex = BAD (for him) I ALWAYS get what i want. (evil laugh). you can try it, but you're like me, you won't make it. and i agree with Rock&Republic: do it for yourself. Make him wax his balls (sorry to offend).
mlen mlen 8 years
considering i just came from a bikini wax, i say grow it out! lol no do what ever you want really. its you who needs to feel comfortable. but growing it out only wastes a few weeks of your time and waxing it back off takes a few minutes- it wouldn't hurt! and as stated above- compromise with a landing strip- then you are mostly cleaned up but with a little bit of hair from him!
GlowingMoon GlowingMoon 8 years
I agree with compromising. Keep a small neatly trimmed upside-down triangle on top. Keep the rest bare. It's sexy and clean.
clareberrys clareberrys 8 years
I hate growing it out - it gets too itchy (just a like a man's beard gets itchy as he grows it out) Tell him you just don't like how it feels - he can't argue with that.
mlmoreno47 mlmoreno47 8 years
I agree with Rock and Republic. If he wants you to grow it out, try it. Maybe he's willing to compromise, like if you grow it, but keep it very trimmed. That way it's neat like you like it and a bit fuzzy like he likes it. Most women have the opposite problem. I hate shaving because of how uncomfortable it is when it grows back in.
bettyboutique bettyboutique 8 years
Do what makes you feel comfortable! I mean okay fine try it out but im in your boat hunny im very self conscious about down there! Hopefully you can both come to and understanding
RockAndRepublic RockAndRepublic 8 years
I find it gross. It's your body and you should modify it for you.
RockAndRepublic RockAndRepublic 8 years
I find it gross. It's your body and you should modify it for <i>you</i>.
brookrene brookrene 8 years
how about as an every once in a while thing? like once every two weeks or month, then it's not the same thing all the time, and you get to switch it up for him.
0danielle0 0danielle0 8 years
I've heard hair traps pheromones down there, which could be why some men are into it. If you really can't handle letting it grow, compromise. Offer to grow a well-groomed strip for him. Ooh, and take it as an opportunity to let him know if there's anything you'd like him to alter. :)
minaminamina minaminamina 8 years
I agree with the suggestions that you keep a little hair that's well-groomed on top and continue to go bare on your labia - it's a step, at least, and you don't have to go all natural then. On another note, however, I love a man who is turned on by a woman looking all natural. To me, I've always felt uncomfortable going bare down below - I feel it makes me look like a 12 year old girl, and THAT makes me feel weird. You shouldn't have to compromise your personal comfort level for your man, but let him know you think it's sweet that he finds a woman in her natural state to be so arousing. So many of us, including women who don't approve of going natural, are easily swayed by social constructs that tell us 'bare is best!' on a woman, and to find a man who isn't influenced by that is really a gift.
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