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You Asked: Should I Just Let Him Go?

Dear Sugar,

It's been a while, but I'm still not over my ex. I've known him for 10 years, and we work together so it's not possible to just avoid him. At times I feel like I'm finally going to be free from him, but then he does something that wins me over again. He's the person you could see yourself being with forever. He's smart, funny, responsible, and when I'm with him I feel so comfortable. We've always kept a friendly relationship because we were best friends first.

I'm lost on what to do. I seem to push every other guy whose interested in me away because I'm not sure whether both my ex and I are over each other. I can't ask him because he'll just avoid answering me — that's how he is. Should I finally let him go? I'm scared I'll never meet someone as incredible as him again.

— Can't Let Go Lisa

To see DearSugar's answer


Dear Can't Let Go Lisa,

From your description, your ex sounds like a great guy, but he is your ex, which means that something didn't work when you guys were together. Because I don't know the details of your relationship and subsequent breakup, I can't say whether or not trying to work on a relationship again is a good idea. However, it's important for you to remind yourself that there's a reason why you guys aren't a couple anymore.

Instead of worrying about what could be, focus on living in the present. Next time a new guy shows interest in you, take the bait. Don't think of it as letting go of your ex, but rather opening up to new experiences and people. I truly believe that the most important part of breaking up isn't letting go, but keeping an open mind about yourself and those around you. If you can do that, everything else will just come naturally, whether that's moving on or making it work again. Keep your chin up and hang in there!


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