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You Asked: Should I Lose My Virginity?

Dear Sugar--

I'm 17 years old and I've been with this guy for about six weeks. I like him and I trust him, and I'm physically and mentally ready to have sex but a part of me is anxious because I've been hurt in the past. Although I feel safe with him and know he will treat me with respect during and after, he does shady things sometimes [not calling, etc], and I'm not sure if he's as into me as I'm into him.

I am a little bit scared that I will end up regretting losing my virginity to him. What should I think about before committing to sleeping with him, and what should I make sure he knows about me before I take this step with him?

--Should I do it Shayna

To see DEARSUGAR’s answer

Dear Should I do it Shayna--

I can not stress this enough – LISTEN to your gut!! Some part of you feels that losing your virginity with this guy is NOT a good idea so listen to your instincts. There may be a lot of reasons why you feel like you should do it – maybe all your friends are doing it, maybe you’re feeling pressured by this guy or your friends (or yourself), maybe you’re ready to take this next step in your relationship – but if some part of you has doubts – DON’T do it.

You are only 17 and many people wait much longer to lose their virginity. The thing is, you don’t want to do it just for the sake of doing it, because let me tell you something – you'll probably end up regretting that you did it with a jerk who stopped calling you as soon as he got what he wanted.

Sex is more than just a physical act, especially for women. It’s an emotional connection that you make with someone that you love. It’s the closest two people can be with each other and your first time should be special. It should be with someone you trust completely, someone who loves you, and someone you feel comfortable with. If I were you, I’d save myself for someone that you feel 100% sure about. It will mean so much more in the long run. Good luck, and whatever you decide to do, please make sure you're safe.


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