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You Asked: Should I Make the Next Move?

Dear Sugar,

Last Saturday night I met this good-looking guy at one of the college bars downtown. We hit it off pretty well and he asked for my phone number so he could text me later. However, all I got was a friend request on Facebook. I'm usually good at not getting my hopes up, but I found myself venting to my friends about how to take this to the next level. My guy friends tell me that he probably just thought I was attractive and wanted to see if he could get my number. I haven't heard from him, it's been two days, so they think he's probably just lost interest or too chicken to text or call.

My girl friends are telling me that he's shy and doesn't want to be too forward. I don't know what to believe. I've been thinking a lot about this guy and I want to know if I should pursue this or let it go. Should I send him a message on Facebook? Wait until I see him again? Or just forget him completely? Please help!

— Next Step Sammie

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Dear Next Step Sammie,

It's definitely possible he's shy — though, really, how hard is it to text someone? — or he's simply giving it a couple more days so he doesn't look too interested, but my gut is going with your guy friends on this one. If he wanted to get the ball rolling, he could have sent you a message via Facebook when he asked to be your friend.

But that said, I think it is interesting that he did ask to be your friend on Facebook when he could have just as easily made zero contact; your name must have been on his mind. In either case, I don't think it'll hurt to send him a casual message. The very worst thing that happens is that he doesn't respond and if that's case, you won't be any worse off than you are now. In fact, then you'll know that he's not worth wasting another moment of concern over. It's a chance, sure, but in the big scheme of things, it's really no big deal. So go for it, and if it turns into something great, if not, oh well.


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