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You Asked: Should I Play it Cool?

Dear Sugar--

I was dating a guy for 3 weeks and during the third week he decided not to call me back on that Saturday night. Sunday at 6pm I called him and asked him if he was blowing me off, that if he was, it was OK, but he should just let me know. He said he worked in the morning and was sick.

On Monday he didn't call me, but I saw him and he looked fine. I said it again on Tuesday, "If you’re blowing me it's OK, just say so and don't leave me hanging." Of course he said he wasn't blowing me off and he'd call me back and of course he didn’t. Should I stop being so up front and just play things out?

--Blown-Off Betsy

To see DEARSUGAR's answer

Dear Blown-Off Betsy--

It sounds like this guy needs some space. If there’s one thing guys hate, it’s feeling crowded. You've only been seeing him for 3 weeks, so give him some time to figure out how he feels about you. The last time you spoke with him, he said he’d call you back, so don’t call him - let him call you. If he really is sick, he probably doesn’t feel much like socializing anyway, so give him a chance to get better, and I'm sure he'll call.

I know it’s hard to wait for someone you like to call you back, but just try to keep yourself busy. Hang out with your girlfriends, go to the gym, and even go out with other guys if you want.

If a week goes by and you haven’t heard from him, chances are he probably doesn’t feel the way you thought he did. Some guys have a hard time being up front and honest with their feelings, so if he is in fact blowing you off, chances are he will ignore you rather than take the initiative and tell you how he feels. Actions speak louder than words, so if that’s the case, you should move on. There are plenty of guys out there that will call you back, so don't deal with a guy who doesn't!


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