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You Asked: Should I Stay?


Dear Sugar,

I have been with my current boyfriend for four months now. I generally have a very good time with him, find him very attractive, and I even like his friends. He told me last night that he enjoys my company and is very happy with the way things have been going, but can't figure out why he isn't in love with me yet. I told him it was OK if he wasn't and that we can just enjoy being together. However, I'm finding myself falling more and more in love with him and I'm not sure if I can handle him not feeling the same way. At the same time, I recently got out of a long-term relationship a month before we started dating so I don't know if I should just relax and take it for what it's worth. Please help! — One Sided Sandy

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Dear One Sided Sandy,

There is no formula to falling in love — some people fall in love at first sight and others take their time to be completely sure before they let themselves feel such strong emotions, let alone share them with the person they're dating. It's also completely normal for one person to feel that love sooner than the other — it would be just all too perfect if you both felt it at the exact same time.

I think you took the right approach by telling your boyfriend that it's OK if he's not there yet but since you're starting to fall for him, I think you should take your own advice! You have a good foundation with this guy so I say just keep trudging along. Your boyfriend might view the L Word differently than you do, but if you continue enjoying each other's company, time will sooner tell if he has the capability of feeling that way towards you. If not, and if you feel like you're in a one sided relationship, then you can make some decisions on your future, but in the meantime Sandy, I think you should relax and take this four month relationship for what it is — two people who really like each other feeling out the unpaved road ahead.

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