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You Asked: Should I Take My Ex Back As My Best Friend?

Dear Sugar,

My boyfriend of two years recently broke up with me. It was completely out of the blue and I still can't understand why he did it. He gave me 20 different contradicting reasons, but the main point is that he doesn't want to be with me anymore; and it hurts a lot. He had planned out the rest of our lives right down to when we'd get married, what church, when we'd have kids and what town we'd live in.

We had been best friends for over two years before we got together but we always had this awesome connection. I was very excited when he asked me out, although I was concerned that I could lose his friendship if we ever broke up. I took the chance but now that we're done, he wants to go back to being just friends. I'm not sure if I'm able to do that. My friendship feelings for him are all wrapped up in the romantic ones. We are in the exact same circle of friends and they all think I should give it a try. Half the time I miss my best friend, but the other half hates him for breaking my heart. What should I do? — Crushed Cathy

To see DearSugar's answer

Dear Crushed Cathy,

It's pretty clear that you still have some strong feelings around the breakup with your ex, so while going back to being just friends would be ideal, it will only work once you've let go of your romantic feelings for him. Since you're in the same circle of friends, you can remain cordial towards him, but it might just be too soon to jump right back into best friend status.

Crossing the friendship line is always a risk, but once the dust settles, hopefully you can see that your friendship is what brought you together in the first place. With time, maybe you both can work on rebuilding that connection but in the meantime, take all the distance you need to grieve your relationship. Good luck to you and try not to let your friends influence you to move too quickly.


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