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You Asked: Should I Wait For Him?

Dear Sugar,

My boyfriend of a year and a half — I'm 23, and he's 21 — told me that he wants to break up because he doesn't want to be in a relationship right now. But he also says that he wants to be good friends. We met at work, so we see each other all the time. He calls me every day and invites me to hang out with him. He told me that we might get back together, but for now he just wants to have fun and not handle the responsibilities of a relationship. He claims he's not completely over me, but I just can't read his signals. I want to wait for him, but I'm scared that I might end up waiting forever. Do you think he's over me? Should I wait for him?

— Longing Lacey

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Dear Longing Lacey,

Though there is always an exception, I think the rule should be that unless a guy is willing to wait for you then don't bother waiting for him. In this case, I can't say whether or not he's over you, but I do know that he's choosing not to be with you, and to me, that's a pretty clear indicator of someone's intentions.

Of course, there's always a possibility for something to work out later on — life is funny that way — but I think in the meantime you should do your best to let go. If that means not hanging out with him then ask him not to call you anymore. While being friends is all well and good, sometimes it's important to put distance between yourself and someone else until your feelings blow over; you can be friendly, but just not friends. Perhaps without you, he'll realize what he's missing. Or maybe you'll realize that you guys are better off as just friends.


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