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You Asked: Should My One Night Stand Turn Into More?

Dear Sugar--

Oh my, what have I done? I went to a new friend's house for a party this weekend. It was so much fun. I ended up getting pretty tipsy.

Her brother was flirting and dancing with me at the party. Long story short, we left at the same time and I ended up going to his house and spending the night with him!

This is the first time that I have ever had a "one night stand." I have never had casual sex with ANYONE (I'm in my 30s), always "boyfriends," so I have got some issues with a little guilt right now. I also got out of a long-term relationship late last year so I have not been with another man for quite some time. And, I left in the early morning without saying goodbye, just left a note and my number.

I would love to see him again, but I'm not sure what to do...wait for his call? Perhaps I should just take this as an empowering experience and move on? Also, I plan to not tell my friend a word...boys don't kiss and tell do they?

Please give this girl a little advice.

--A (one night) Stand Up Girl

To see DEARSUGAR's answer

Dear A (one night) Stand Up Girl--

I know you must feel awful about what you did, considering you're usually "not that kind of girl," but don't be too hard on yourself. Sometimes our emotions and desires can get the better of us, especially when alcohol gets thrown in the mix.

If this is a good friend of yours, I would advise you to tell her what happened. The chances are high that your secret will get out, so it would be best if she heard it from the horse's mouth if you will. Hopefully she will be understanding, and perhaps even excited about the possibility of you and her brother getting together.

Since you left without saying goodbye, chances are this guy doesn't think you're interested in him. Everyone has his or her personal views on one night stands, and if you don't want him to have the wrong impression of you based on this first encounter, I would take the initiative and give him a call. Be honest and explain how you feel about the situation in a light-hearted manner and apologize for sneaking out so early the next morning. I am sure he will understand how uncomfortable you felt.

It's okay to listen to the passionate voice inside yourself every once in a while (as long as you keep yourself safe). Don't get too hung up on the fact that you think you did something "wrong". If you don't want to be "that kind of girl" again, take this as a learning experience and be more cognitive of your actions, and perhaps even skip out on that last drink!


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