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You Asked: Technology Is Ruining Our Relationship — Help!

Dear Sugar,

My boyfriend and I have been dating for almost a year now, and I have increasingly noticed that he can't seem to get off the Internet, Facebook, his cell phone, or AIM. Don't get me wrong: I also enjoy these social outlets, but I know when to give my boyfriend attention. Some days are technology-free, but other times, we are often interrupted by text messages or Facebook notifications that come to his phone. I've tried to bring this up and he always tells me that he needs to keep in touch with his friends, but I find it hard to believe that he has to be connected 24/7. I'm beginning to think that this relationship is doomed by technology. Any advice? — Feeling Second Best Bianca

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Dear Feeling Second Best Bianca,

I happen to think we are all a little too reliant on staying connected — I'm guilty of this myself — but the only way to break the habit is to make a conscious effort to change. Having technology-free days is a great start, but if you're feeling like this habit of his could actually ruin your relationship, talking with him about it and explaining your side is crucial. Keeping in touch with friends is important, but see if you can't agree on a middle ground — no phone or computer after a certain hour or no phone or computer while you're spending quality time together (especially in the bedroom!). If he agrees to an understanding like that, you have to give a little too and let him have free reign during those non-off-limit times.

Hopefully he'll be able to see how his actions are affecting you and your relationship before it's too late. Good luck.


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