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You Asked: We Have Different Dreams

Dear Sugar,

My girlfriend and I have been dating for six months and things are starting to get serious. We've moved in together and are happy that we did. She's finishing her degree in a month and is thinking of joining the armed forces so she can travel around the world — she wants me to go with her. It's always been her dream to go abroad and try out new places but I, on the other hand, am content with my life here and moving to a new place is the furthest thing from my mind at the moment. I don't want her to give up her dream for me, but she doesn't want to leave without me. What should I do? — Rock and a Hard Place Richard

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Dear Rock and a Hard Place Richard,

This is certainly a tough position to be in, but if picking up and leaving to travel the world isn't something you're interested in, don't do it. If your girlfriend says she won't leave without you, that's her decision to make. The thing that makes this situation so tricky is that resentment could easily rear its ugly head for both of you. If she puts you before her dream, she could hold you responsible, but if you leave your life to follow a dream that you can't relate to, you could in turn resent her for making you walk away from your life as you knew it.

You're talking about a major life decision here, so be sure to talk to your girlfriend about all your options. It's important for each of you to follow your dreams, so if you're not on the same page, hopefully you work together to come to a happy meeting place. Good luck and remember communication is key!


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