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You Asked: What's Up With Them?

You Asked: What's Up With Them?


Dear Sugar,
My soon to be brother-in-law has a girlfriend who I absolutely cannot stand. The first day I met her was at a BBQ I had. I tried being friendly and talking to her but she didn't say one word to me. She ended up sitting on the other side of the yard away from everyone. They started dating in June and still to this day, I do not think she has ever said one word to me — not even when she visited me in the hospital after I had my baby! She is rude and I can't stand rude people.

My soon to be brother-in-law used to be so much fun and would always come over and spend time with us but ever since he's been with her, he's become a total jerk. He never comes to visit us, never calls and when we do see him, he isn't the same. He has ditched us on numerous occasions and he didn't even go to my son's baptism. I have been so hurt and although this may sound stupid, I don't know what to do. Please help!
— Over Her Helen

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Dear Over Her Helen,

Unfortunately, your brother-in-law is a part of your family now so since he isn't going anywhere, you're going to have to find a way to make nice with him and his girlfriend. When people are shy and quiet, it can come off as rude even though that isn't their intention. Since you've only known her for six months, perhaps she just needs a little more time to warm up to you before she feels comfortable being herself.

When you first start dating someone, it's normal to want to be with that person as often as possible so that could be why he's been missing in action. Have you or your husband brought his new behavior to his attention? He could be so in his own world that he's completely oblivious to how he's affecting you both. It's not stupid to be upset by this, in fact it's only natural to feel hurt when someone constantly ditches you so if you can't get to the bottom of this on your own, ask your husband to talk to him man to man — there could be something bigger going on that you're unaware of. Hang in there Helen, I'm sure after a good heart to heart, you'll be able to work this out. Good luck.

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