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You Asked: What Are We?

Dear Sugar,

I have been dating this guy for about a month and I really like him. He's smart, cute, funny, attentive — the whole package. The only problem is that I'm not exactly sure where we stand. I don't know if he's dating other people and I'm afraid to ask. I want to figure out our "status" but I know asking guys "where is this going?" or "what are we" usually sends them running in the opposite direction. Do you have any suggestions?
—Unsure Ursula


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Dear Unsure Ursula,

Even though you've only been dating this guy for one month, it's important to know where you stand with someone you're developing strong feelings for. I happen to think that honesty is the best policy so I advise you to be upfront and ask him where you stand. You're right, sometimes putting a label on your relationship could send someone running for the hills, but let's be honest, is that someone you'd want to date anyway? If you don't feel comfortable being direct, try asking him in a more flirty, joking fashion — say something like "so, when are you going to ask me to go steady?." Hopefully he'll play along and you'll be able to get some of your questions answered.

I know it's scary to put yourself out there and really expose your feelings, but at the end of the day, you need to know where this relationship is going. If you're sexually active with this guy, you have every right to know if he's dating other people, not only for your peace of mind, but also for the sake of your sexual health. The longer you put this off Ursula, the harder it will be to discuss so I say be brave and take a chance on love. Good luck!

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