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You Asked: Whose Wedding Should I Attend?

Dear Sugar--

About three months ago I was asked to be in a friend's wedding. Frankly, I was shocked that she would ask me as I've known her for less than a year, but I said sure. She's a nice girl and a new friend I wouldn't want to lose. But this weekend, my best friend got engaged. When (and if) I get married, this is the friend that I would ask to be my Maid of Honor.

The glitch is, in briefly talking to my BFF, she mentioned that she wanted to get married right around the same time of the previous friend. Now, my BFF hasn't asked me to be in her wedding party yet (she's deciding if her sister will be her only attendant to save money), but I'm still really concerned about the time conflict.

How will I choose if these weddings are, indeed, on the same weekend? Do I pick the one whose wedding I've first agreed to be in, or my best friend? Is it wrong to persuade newly engaged bride-to-be into picking a weekend that works for me, or is that just plain selfish? -- Booked up Becky

To see DEARSUGAR's answer

Dear Booked up Becky --

While you already committed to be in this acquaintance's wedding, I am sure it would be really upsetting to miss your best friend's wedding, even if you aren't in her wedding party, so I think you should talk to her about your dilemma sooner than later. I wouldn't ask her to schedule her big day around your busy schedule, so just ask her if she has a date set -- there's nothing wrong with that! If you don't want to pressure her, it isn't fair to the other girl for you to sit on your decision - you're going to have to make your choice asap so your acquaintance can find another bridesmaid if need be.

Wedding season is hard for everyone but just remember you're only human and you can't be in two places at once. If you are honest with your friend about the importance of attending your best friend's wedding, she will understand why you feel loyal to her - I am sure she wouldn't want to miss her best friend's wedding either.

When it comes down to it, follow your heart and attend the wedding of the couple you are closest to. At the end of the day, I hope this worry is just a false alarm so you can attend both weddings!


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