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You Asked: Why Am I So Upset About Her Abortion?

Dear Sugar,

Last night I came home from work to find my roommate/best friend asleep on the couch. She woke up a couple minutes later asking her boyfriend to get her some brownies. Her demeanor was such that I suspected something was wrong as she doesn't usually crave food this way. I asked her jokingly ''what's the matter with you, are you pregnant?'' and she started laughing, looked at her boyfriend and said ''I can't lie to her." I asked her if she was keeping it and she told me that she'd already scheduled an abortion. She is 24 and works as a waitress. Her boyfriend has a decent paying job but she said that keeping it would put their goals and dreams on hold (they are hoping to start a business together). I was mad, disappointed, and went
straight to bed.

As far as abortion goes, I feel that the reasons they came up with just weren't good enough. But who am I to judge? I want her to keep it and even though it's none of my business really, I just can't see their perspective. How can I let go of this angry feeling that I have about a decision that has nothing to do with me?
— Pro Life Lyndsay

To see Dear Sugar's answer


Dear Pro Life Lyndsay,

I'm sorry to hear that you're taking this news so personally, but you're right, this isn't your decision to make. Their rational for aborting their baby might not be good enough for you, but it is for them, which is really all that matters. Obviously this pregnancy was unplanned, so if having a baby wasn't a desire of theirs and would have been more of a burden than anything else, it sounds as though they did what was best for everyone involved.

You're entitled to your own opinions on abortion, but you need to remember that they are just that — your opinions. I'm sure you're still a little shocked to learn this news so I'd take a few days, let it process, and remember that no matter what, she needs your friendship and support right now. The best part about having good friends is that they are there for you even when they don't necessarily agree with the decisions you make. Hopefully you can put your difference aside and not let her ruin your relationship.


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