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You Asked: Why Can't I Get the Guys I Want?

You Asked: Why Can't I Get the Guys I Want?

Dear Sugar,

Ever since high school, I seem to be unwillingly getting myself into this annoying cycle: I start having feelings for a guy, we become friends, and he either dates friends of mine or someone else altogether. I've had a long-term boyfriend in the past and I've dated around, but it's never been with the guys who make me fall head over heals crazy in love. I am seriously wondering what I'm doing wrong! People tell me how they notice how close I am with those specific guys, and that we'd make a great couple, and I always have to brush it off as "Oh, we're just friends!" It bothers me so much because they always compliment me and treat me so well, but I'm just never the one they want, those other girls are. I need some advice on what to do to change this bad luck. I'm 21 and I'm tired of being the good friend. I want to fall head over heals and have the feeling be reciprocated!
— Wishful Thinking Thea

To see Dear Sugar's answer

Dear Wishful Thinking Thea,

Getting stuck in the friend zone can be incredibly frustrating so let's put our heads together and try to break the cycle. Something tells me you're comfortable in the safe area and being the girl these guys can rely on. Do you like playing that role because you've been hurt in the past? If you're afraid of rejection, keeping your feelings inside instead of taking a risk isn't going to get you where you want to be.

The next time you find yourself back in the same position, try to step up your game and flirt a little bit. These guys probably have a hard time seeing you as anything else but their friend, but if you step outside of your comfort zone, they just might see you as the girl that's looking for love. Hang in there and be patient. When the time is right, most likely when you least expect it, something will click for you. Good luck.


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