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You Asked: Why Does He Not Shower Me with Gifts?

Dear Sugar--

I feel incredibly selfish for thinking this, but it's starting to weigh on me a little. Is it wrong to wish that your boyfriend would buy you more gifts? I've been with him for 3 years, everything else in our relationship is great, except in those 3 years he has only bought me one gift (a pair of earrings) which was around 2 years ago. I was pretty disappointed when I didn't even receive a card from him on any of my birthdays. I took him shopping on my last birthday hoping he would get the hint from my "aw that's so beautiful" comments, but it didn't work.

My birthday is coming again soon and I find myself hoping that I don't get that same feeling of disappointment again. I love buying gifts for him and have spent a considerable amount of my wages on things he needs such as computer parts, mp3 player etc. I wish he would buy me something in return, even something tiny, and surprise me. I've tried dropping hints and joking around saying he should get me things but neither approach worked. Should I say something to him in a serious way about this, or am I just being overly selfish? I mean our relationship is perfect apart from this one little thing. --Giftless Gretta

To see DEARSUGAR's answer

Dear Giftless Gretta --

Three years and only one gift??? No, I don't think you're being selfish at all for being annoyed, I'd be pretty bummed out too, but I think it's more the lack of thought rather than the physical absence of a gift that is bothering you. There is nothing better than a heartfelt card or a bouquet of flowers just because so since your subtle hints aren't working, yes, I think you should tell him how you feel. Girls like to be pampered and showered with love and affection, gifts too, and guys are not mind readers so if he doesn't know you're upset, he won't know to change. Try saying something like this:

You know my birthday's coming up, and since you're not the best gift giver, a simple card would mean so much to me this year - or even a little something to open would really make my birthday special.

Try to keep in mind that no one's perfect. I would rather have an "almost perfect relationship" with someone that doesn't know how to shop for me than a relationship with someone that spoiled me with material things without any love to back it up. Hang in there and hopefully your little chat will light the fire he needs to make you happy on your special day.


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