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You Asked: Is my Marriage Over?

Dear Sugar--

I got married at 19. I am now 22 and I feel like my husband and I have nothing in common anymore. We don't even really get along anymore. I am afraid to leave because I don't know how it will affect him or me, but I feel trapped and alone and very frustrated. What should I do? We recently moved for his job and I have no family or friends here and I have no one to talk to . I will happily accept any advice you can offer me. -- Unhappy Heidi

To see DEARSUGAR's answer

Dear Unhappy Heidi--

Every couple goes through ups and downs in their relationship, are you sure this isn't just a low point that will eventually pass with time? Could you be unhappy being away from your family and friends that is in turn making you resent your husband? Have you tried talking to him about the way you are feeling? Could he be feeling some of the same emotions you are?

When couples get married young, it is very common for them to have growing pains, as you are still learning about whom you are and developing into adults. There is a huge difference between 19 and 22, but that isn't to say you can't work through your differences. Have you looked into couples counseling? Are you willing to put forth the effort to make your marriage work?

You shouldn't feel trapped in your marriage, and you shouldn't feel obligated to stay out of fear for the other person -- you need to do what is best for you. Although I am sure divorce wasn't part of your life plan when you got married, it is always an option. If you feel like you have exhausted all your options in making your marriage work, you're young enough to start over and have a happy, healthy marriage with someone else. Hang in there Heidi and good luck to you.


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