One parent's idea of a fun time is to dangle his children from balconies and cover their heads with diaphanous sheets. The other's idea of parenting is to drive with her children on her lap, to feed them junk food and soda pop, or to leave them with nannies while she parties like it's 1999. I know, I know, you'd rather be raised by wolves. But that's not how this game is played. Who would you choose to call your parent, if you had to. . .