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Sister Wives

Nothing screams "glamour" like a polygamous group costume. First you need a floral, floor-length Laura Ashley dress circa 1993. Now to just perfect the hairdo and I'm-crying-on-the-inside blank stare . . .

Source: Nancy Einhart

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Ex-Wife From Mean Girls

Creepy makeup and ugly fake teeth? Check. Horrible long-sleeved, floor-length wedding dress? Check. Wedding and divorce references? Check. You're ready to freak out every guy within a 10-mile radius! And when a sexy cat, bunny, or sailor asks you "Why are you so scary?", respond with "Because it's Halloween."

Image Source: Paramount Pictures
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Dooneese on SNL

Kristen Wiig's tiny-armed singer from SNL's "Lawrence Welk Show" skit is easy to re-create with an outdated bridesmaid dress, bald headcap, snaggletooth, and of course baby doll arms. (Group idea! Grab three more friends to round out the sister act.)

Image Source: Costume Works
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Bearded Lady

There's nothing more titillating than making out with a woman and her prickly facial hair, especially if her look is inspired by a freak-show performer.

Image Source: FX
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Cute Full-Body Dinosaur

Britta on Community loved her over-the-head cutesy animal costumes, and if you're also looking to challenge super-sexed-up female expectations on Halloween, you can take a cue from the character. Although some people may find it sexy . . .

Image Source: NBC
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Little Bo Peep

Modern Family's Claire was going for a costume that harks back to a more innocent time. Just add about two yards of fabric to this costume for a grade-school-appropriate Little Bo Peep outfit.

Image Source: ABC
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Mrs. Pac-Man

When there are so many sultry ways to unleash your inner geek, finding the least body-conscious video-game-related costume you can is a must. Mrs. Pac-Man it is!

Image Source: Instagram user haiz12
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Just say "no" to a sexy gnome costume. All it takes for the nonslutty and hilarious version is red felt rolled into a cone shape and pinned into place, a blue sweater, black sweats, furry boots, and a Santa-like beard.

Source: Lisa Pearce

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A Wiener, of the Food Variety

A past Ugly Betty Halloween episode provided an excellent costume idea for not attracting wieners: be one! (It's also double duty if you dress as Ugly Betty in a wiener costume.)

Image Source: ABC
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Wear your furry kids'-TV-show-inspired costume with pride! Because they were meant to be unsexy.

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Stuart From MadTV and a Crazy Cat Lady

This girl knows where it's at with her unsexy Halloween costumes.

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Whatever this is, we're scared.

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Frida Kahlo

Unibrows for the win!

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Boy Scout

You have to really commit to a costume like this. Well done.

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An Apple/Serpent Combo

Heidi Klum and Seal always went over-the-top with their couples costumes, but that only made their unsexiness all the more terrifying (albeit impressive). It takes real talent to make the Adam and Eve costume concept not sexy.

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Nope. Just, nope. Exhibit B for how to make a supermodel unsexy.

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Salvador Dali Parton

It's a pun, it's Tina Fey, it's unsexy. Does it get any better?

Image Source: NBC
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Hockey Player

While you have to appreciate the Canucks team pride from How I Met Your Mother's Robin Scherbatsky, a full hockey uniform (with helmet) isn't exactly sexy . . . except maybe to hard-core fellow fans.

Image Source: CBS
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There's a way to do sexy dice, and then there's the way Sue from The Middle did it — awkward and bulky perfection.

Image Source: ABC
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Smart is sexy. Einstein, not so much.

Image Source: Costume Works
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Next Slideshow 50 of the Most Sexually Inappropriate Costumes For Guys BY Tara Block