"Bewitch him by day," stalk him on Facebook at night . . .
Whipped cream: the perfect way to have your kids bouncing off the walls and sticking their heads in pumpkins.
A good homemaker knows that you can use your jack-o'-lantern as a cigarette lighter!
Look, mother! Doesn't this huge bowl of trans fat look delicious?
More diet tips from vintage ads: Want to look this fabulous in a skintight leotard this Halloween? Have sugary carbonated soda!
Those were the days. When moms handed out whole candy bars, not skimpy minis!
Trick or treat, indeed! Who said sexy Halloween costumes were a new thing?
When you drink Bud all night, you won't even need a mask to have a creepy drunk face!
Another lady lights up with her pumpkin (who's apparently enjoying her ciggy). Who knew jack-o'-lanterns doubled as party lighters back in the day?
When was the last time you saw a modern ad with a woman eating cheese and drinking beer? This ad says to me: hey, it's OK to enjoy the finer and fattier things in life every once in a while!
Buy witch hazel from your neighborhood witch coven.
Break tradition. Wear a witch costume this year that covers more than your booty and hoo haws.
She doesn't look like she's "relaxing."
Oh hey, I'm just using a sharp knife to carve a pumpkin in my underwear.
Hey, maybe pantyhose are for the modern witch — thanks to Kate and Pippa they may be coming back!