"Hey, just so you know: it's not that common, it doesn't happen to every guy, and it is a big deal!"
— Rachel, Friends
"Freud didn't know d*ck about women."
— Nina, The Object of My Affection
"Would you please stop having sex with your food?"
— Kassie, The Switch
"I don't want to date you. I don't want to marry you. I don't want to have kids with you. I just wanna break up with you."
— Kate Mosley, Picture Perfect
"I've been living my life, OK? I've been in good relationships and I've been in sh*tty ones . . . and I've moved a lot . . . and I've been happy, and I've been sad . . . and I've been lonely . . . and that is what I've been doing. Which is a lot more than I can say for some freak, who thinks he's gonna get the Ebola virus from a bowl of mixed nuts."
— Polly, Along Came Polly
Edie: "Why don't you go find your own husband, Olivia?"
Olivia: "I would if I f*cking could, Edie!"
— Olivia, Friends With Money
"Why don't you just call me when you grow up! Oh, wait, you know what, that's probably never gonna happen, so just don't call me, OK?"
— Joanna, Office Space
"Oh, who gives a sh*t! Who needs a f*cking baby anyway? You wanna make yourself useful around here? Why don't you get that goddamn TV fixed?"
— Justine, The Good Girl
"Francis, I cannot remember the last time I saw your penis."
— Renee, She's the One
Nicole: "Why do people do that?"
Milo: "Why do people do what?"
Nicole: "Deny that they've ever done anything wrong in the relationship — why can't people take responsibility for their sh*t and move on?"
— Nicole, The Bounty Hunter
"Other people want idiotic crap like getting married and having babies with the man they've loved for five years. But not me, Bruce! Just give me the boat!"
— Grace, Bruce Almighty
"I just need you to stop being nice to me unless you're gonna marry me."
— Beth, He's Just Not That Into You
Mike: "Maryland is for . . . lovers. Bumper sticker?"
Sue: "Virginia. Virginia is for lovers. Maryland is for crabs."
— Sue, Management
"I didn't come here to tell you that I can't live without you. I can live without you. I just don't want to."
— Sarah, Rumor Has It . . . "
"If you had a brain in either head, you'd know that I'm doing what's best for both of us."
— Eloise, Love Happens
"Yea, I completely agree with you. You know, an art teacher of mine once said, 'Never buy a piece of art that you don't have to have.' You know, don't worry about who the artist is or how much it's worth. I mean, you have to live with it every day. You have to walk by it every day. You have to really love it; you have to really appreciate it. It's kind of like picking a mate."
— Brooke, The Break-Up