Having a great bachelorette party means anticipating the evening's needs. Like, say, a personalized barf bucket, 10 penis straws, a penis candy choker, party veil, naughty girl body shimmer . . . you get the picture.
More proactive bachelorette party kits. This one includes these indispensable items: Pecker Glo-Stixxx, Multispeed Vibe, Ball and Chain, Hot Guys Playing Cards, All-Day Pecker Sucker, Pecker Ring Toss Game, Pecker Surprise Shot Glass, Pecker Nose Glasses, Last Night Out Brooch, Lover's Cocktail, Pecker Whistle, Lock & Key, and Warming Massage Lotion. Sweet.
An exciting night of drinking while watching male exotic dancers would not be complete without a scented nipple balm that will make you "warm and tingly for a few minutes after application."
This gives true meaning to the term "cocktail."
What cocktail filled with penis-shaped ice cubes would be complete without some classy penis straws to drink it with?
I think the copywriter needs to be fired, though. Who really wants to drink through a "flesh-colored plastic penis
straw"? I guess somebody, because these things are still around!
And how does telling your friends you finally picked a pr*ck bode well for your upcoming nuptials? (Yeah, I know. I need to lighten up.) Imagine a similar invite from the groom for his bachelor party! I doubt it would go over too well.
Warn the table next to you who are trying to engage in some meaningful discussion that it's gonna be a penis-palooza all night long! This is so thoughtful.
There's not much that can be said about this product that the visuals don't already suggest.
Complete with hanging (you guessed it!) penises. In anticipation of the mobile in your future child's room?
Interesting. So everything else at a bachelorette party seems centered around the penis, but the one thing that would make sense with one, is . . . without one.
The bachelorette party superstore doesn't just sell crazy party favors for your wild girls' night out. They provide unintentionally hilarious (and misspelled) advice on how to keep the whole affair "tastefully tacky." (Now there's a concept!) In its Guide to Bachelorette Party Favors and Decorations, it says, "Sometimes it's better to be tatstful (sic) — Not all bachelorette party supplies have to resemble penises." Thanks for the reminder!