One time, my date showed up for our first date with two wrapped presents. In the likely case that you've never received wrapped presents from a practical stranger, let me tell you: it's a little uncomfortable. The first was a bottle of wine and an opener, which was reasonable and appreciated because the restaurant was BYOB. But, as he opened the bottle he proceeded to tell me he didn't like wine and I'd have to drink it myself. The second package had a red rose tucked in it and revealed an inch-thick, stapled printout of Oprah's online guide to starting a book club "because every woman loves Oprah, right?" Cue long sexist rant about things women like. Every moment that followed felt like an SNL sketch. I guzzled wine while I learned the man's spirit animal is a half lion, half turtle, and someday, when he's in better shape, he's going to get a tattoo across his stomach and chest. He did not receive my final rose.