I had no desire to date, but I did have the sex drive of a 35-year-old woman. You know how they say that men hit their sexual peak at 18 and women at 35? That's true, people.
I worried that being divorced made me undesirable. I wondered, will people think I'm a screwup? Also, what's the point of going on dates if I am not ready for a relationship? "Practice and companionship!" said my mom. I decided to take my mom's advice and ignore my own hangups.
Rather than finding it weird that I'm divorced, men seemed to think it was kinda hot.
Anyone who knows a single man in his mid-30s wanted to fix me up with him. I was skeptical that we were just leftovers who had nothing in common. Plus, I told them, if he's looking for a relationship, I'm probably not a good candidate right now.
My friends who are still single in their mid-30s are over it — sick of dating and sick of being single. But as a new wingwoman who was single and ready to mingle, I gave them a second wind. Talking about our dates became an entertaining hobby.
Being divorced is not the same as being single. Unlike my never-married friends, I was not trying to find The One. I tried that, and I failed. This time around, I was just ready for adventure, and as a result, I ended up dating all kinds of guys I might not have considered before.
In my 20s, I obsessed about whether or not guys liked me, and I took it personally if they didn't. I even adjusted my behavior ever so slightly to make myself more to their liking. This time, I didn't give a f*ck. My attitude was, take it or leave it, this is how I am.
As someone who tends to get fixated on one person prematurely, I decided the healthiest option is to date several people at once. If I'm into two to three guys, I can't get obsessed with any single one. This mostly worked, though text messaging could get confusing.
Source: Comedy Central
The only problem with lining up multiple dates per week is that I didn't have much time for myself. I spent way too many weeknights over cocktails and heavy dinners.
I'm 35. Neither my metabolism nor my ability to bounce back from debauchery is what it used to be.
When I spend the night with someone, I don't have to worry about roommates or futons. Nowadays, my dates either live alone in grown-up apartments or come back to my grown-up apartment. If I'm lucky, I even get poached eggs for breakfast.
It has been nearly 10 years since I dated someone I didn't live with. Now, I not only have to schlep my gym clothes to work but also a change of clothes and toiletries. My desk is like a storage unit.
Is it still appropriate to call someone my "boyfriend" when we're closer to 40 than 30? Who cares. After a year and a half of dating around, I'm giddy about being in a relationship again.
The fact that we're both 30-somethings (with many relationships in our wakes) makes it easier; we're straightforward, we don't play games, and everything is on the table. Maybe this time I'll get it right, but if things don't work out, I know I'll be OK.