When it comes to the question “Should I stay or should I go?” Kirsty C. and other Circle of Moms members are firm believers that the best thing any parent can do is to keep their family intact and together for the kids. “It’s better to do anything to save the marriage,” she says. “I think that we live in a throwaway society these days. We are so used to immediate gratification, so if something doesn't work (like our marriage), we chuck it and get a new ‘better' one. With marriage, you need to work on it every day.”
Here, Kirsty C. and other Circle of Moms members who feel that parents should never divorce offer three reasons for a fighting couple to move beyond their personal strife. (For another point of view, see Should Fighting Couples Stay Together or Call it Quits?)
1. Your Kids Need a Stable Family Environment
Moms like Diane H. feel that self sacrifice is what marriage is about. “Parents need to put their children’s happiness before their own,” she says. “I can't help but respect and admire someone who puts aside their own happiness and desires in order to provide a stable family environment for their children. Respect and love must be taught, so just be sure you are setting a positive example for your children.”
2. It May Just Be a Rough Patch
Betsy F. and Angie E. both believe that couples with children can and should find a way to make it work. Becky urges parents to “not to be so quick to end it,” and Angie explains why:
“Any couple who has made it to celebrate their 20th, 30th, or 60th wedding anniversary will tell you that there were times, heck, years even that they didn't feel like they were in love. But the reward that you get from having gone through tough times and sticking it out together is beyond amazing. I don't know any old timers who regret having stuck it out.”
3. You Signed Up to Work at It
Divorce is not the only solution, say moms in difficult marriages who have chosen to stay married. Heather G. believes that if your only reason for divorce is that you’ve grown apart, or are unhappy, there are other solutions. “Marriage is work,” she says, “It takes an effort on both parts. In our case, we have made it through more than most couples ever have to experience. A special needs child changes every aspect of your life, but we love each other, and we know to keep each other happy and spend time on us so we can be the best parents possible for our kids."
Moms like Kathy M. feel the struggle is worth the results: “We don't constantly fight, rather, there is an undercurrent of unhappiness. We have agreed to stick it out for the sake of the kids, and honestly, we do a pretty good job of parenting together. . . . we do well co-parenting and the kids are happy and thriving. If you can tough it out, I think you should try."
(For tips on how to stay married, see 5 Lessons We Can All Learn from Divorced Moms.)
Should unhappy parents stay together for the sake of their kids?
The views expressed in this article are those of the author and do not necessarily represent the views of, and should not be attributed to, POPSUGAR.