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4 Questions Not to Ask a Single Mom


4 Questions Not to Ask a Single Mom

Just the other day when I was meeting a friend for coffee after a Saturday morning run, I was reminded once again that I am a single mom — or at least of the image I must wear on my sleeve that propels inquiring minds to ask outrageously insensitive questions.

There I was, sipping my latte with my friend when a soccer mom I haven’t seen in years barged over to our table and into our conversation. Her inquisition about my kids and my life since my divorce jolted memories of comments I have heard over and over again in the wake of the split.

Here are my "favorites," the questions that truly drive me nuts as a single, divorced mom... and the answers I'd give if I could really speak what's on my mind.

1. Q. Are your kids okay? You must be so brave. How do you do it?

A. Well, member of the Uncouth Mom Club, actually, what other choice would I have? Think about it!

2. Q. What happened?

A. Really? Really, you are asking that? I am going to divulge to you, a mom from the soccer team whose last name I don’t even know, the details of my marriage's breakup?

Why exactly do you need to know?

Here's a new concept: how would you feel if the roles were reversed and I asked you the same nosy question?

 

3. Q. Do you still live in the house? (Or: How do you afford to maintain two households?)

A. By that are you asking if I leave the kids at the homeless shelter and treat myself to an occasional coffee in running attire? 

I don’t maintain two households, I work hard and maintain one, because I am resourceful, resilient, and am making lemonade out of lemons, which is much more than I think you could ever handle. Yes, I still live in the house, because guess what, I work. I’ve always worked. In fact, I also earned a living during my marriage, and as a matter of fact, it was more substantial than my spouse's.

(Or maybe I should just say, “No, it was horrific, we lost everything and had to flee in the middle of the night to a studio apartment and now we’re on food stamps.")

4. Q. Did you hear so-and-so’s husband left her, too?

A. Um... am I supposed to beg you for the juicy details and then spill my own dirty laundry? And why are you implying that I am some kind of victim who was "left" when you have no idea which of us did the leaving? Has it ever occurred to you that sometimes it's not the wife who is "dumped" and left in shock?

Life is a little less black and white than that.  

What are some of the rudest things people have said to you as a single mom?

Image Source: Aloha Lady via Flickr/Creative Commons

The views expressed in this article are those of the author and do not necessarily represent the views of, and should not be attributed to, POPSUGAR.

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