Why do some people make you feel like it's a crime to have only one child, ask Circle of Moms member Rogina C. She just wants to say “chill out” to her doctor, friends, parents, and the many strangers in the grocery store aisle who keep asking when she's going to have another baby.
If, like Rogina, you're "one and done," here are some great responses, all suggested by Circle of Moms members, to those annoying questions posed by your well-intending friends and family.
1. One Child Completes Our Family
For many Circle of Mom members and their spouses, one child is simply enough. As Rogina C. says of her 7-month-old, “Don't get me wrong, we are very happy about having our son, but we knew even when I was pregnant that our family was complete with just him.”
The definition of “family” varies for everyone. As Kathy H. says, “We decided to be a one-child family after years of unexplained infertility after our daughter was born. We are very happy and I don’t care what other people think or say. Being a family of three is fine for us."
2. Finances, Fertility, and Age
Other Circle of Moms members point out that life circumstances and fertility impose real limitations on family size, and that they are not to be scoffed at. Kids are expensive, and families have a right to chose what works for their own economic circumstances. "There is nothing wrong about deciding to have one child for fiscal reasons," says Jessica W. “Seriously, having another child [brings] on a huge financial obligation that can be career changing for one parent or the other. If I had a relative to care for another child, I could support another baby. I would love, love to have another. But the real nature of the situation is we are not financially able to." Then there's the question of fertility and age. As Heather D. shares, “The decision was out of our control to a certain extent... We felt that age was against us. I didn't fancy (and I still don't) being 60 when our child was 18."
3. Only Doesn’t Mean Lonely
Despite what some may say, only children aren’t necessarily lonely children. ”It is a parent's responsibility to see to it that our children are not lonely,” says Sharon C., a mom of one. “As a working mom, my son was exposed to both in-home child care plus traditional daycare settings. He is active in sports and in the community. He has lots of friends and I always welcome kids to come and play. While cousins never replace siblings, my son is close in age to his two boy cousins. They also live locally so it's never an issue to have all the boys over here.”
4. Only Children Learn Independence
Being an only child has its advantages, including the fact that only children sometimes learn to be very independent and resourceful. “I was an only child for most of my childhood,” says Tracy C. “When I had step siblings we hated each other. LOL. I learned to entertain myself when I wasn't with friends. I learned how to deal with things on my own and how to be alone."
5. Parents can provide more individual attention
Having one child allows parents to be more attentive. “Spending so much time with one child benefits them,” says Amber H. “My husband and I wanted to wait to have another child in order to ensure our daughter got as much attention during her formative years as possible. Because of our dedication solely to her, my daughter was able to be potty trained by nine months, speak in complete sentences by one, read by age three, do addition and subtraction by five, and is now learning Spanish and Japanese. She also gets all A's and has been given several community awards."
Many Circle of Moms members say they embrace their choice to have one child and wouldn’t have it any other way. “There is nothing wrong with only having one child,” says Wanda P. “I am an only child and I have an only child... As long as you love them and teach them to be responsible, honest adults, they will be fine. So will you... having just one child was awesome for me.”
Ultimately, moms need to remember that they don’t have to make excuses for choosing to have one child. As Tracey C. says, “Your reproductive choices are frankly none of anyone else’s business. There is absolutely nothing wrong with sticking with one, be it [because of] fertility issues or simply because you don't want another. It's no one else's place to criticize another for their choice to stick with one.”
The views expressed in this article are those of the author and do not necessarily represent the views of, and should not be attributed to, POPSUGAR.