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Friending Your Child on Facebook

How to Facebook and Remain "Friends" With Your Child

You've had Facebook for years as one of many social-media moms who uses the site to connect with friends and family. Now that your teen's online, the first thing you do is send her a friend request. Just because you have a great relationship with your child in real life, however, doesn't mean it will work online. Here, the dos and don'ts of Facebooking with your child (and how to keep him from permanently unfriending you).

  • Do respect her friending decision. Some teens have a strict no-family policy when it comes to social media and, unfortunately, that includes you. It's not because she hates you or has something to hide. She just wants a little privacy when it comes to her personal life.
  • Don’t friend request his friends. Even if you're the cool mom, your child's friends may also want an adult-free Facebook page. However, they don't want to hurt your feelings by denying your request. Avoid putting them in an awkward situation altogether. If, however, they send you friend requests, then you are more than allowed to accept.
  • Do keep pokes, likes, and comments to a minimum. Remember: being Facebook friends is a right, not a privilege. Liking every status update or sharing too many videos could lead to unfriending. Only send your child stuff she'd have a real interest in reading. As for poking, don't bother. That's the online way of flirting.
  • Do post family photos. You can post whatever you want on your Facebook page, including your daughter's embarrassing baby photos. She may hate the pictures at first, but she'll be happy to have them when she's feeling homesick.
  • Don’t use Facebook as a substitute for talking. Just because you see his statuses and photos doesn't mean you know what's going on in his life. Continue to ask about his day, and engage in conversations with him. Whatever you do, don't start a conversation about something you saw on Facebook. It makes them feel like you’re prying, even if you’re not.
Image Source: Shutterstock
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Join The Conversation
AliciaAnderson72717 AliciaAnderson72717 2 years
it's one thing to respect privacy, it's another to let you "teen" control you. If they can't respect you on facebook, then delete their account. 'nough said.
BrookeLinton BrookeLinton 2 years
I agree with all except #1. Having me as a friend is a must, even when they are past the age where I demand their password.
Melanie15117418 Melanie15117418 2 years
All sound reasonable except for #1. Safety comes before privacy and in today's world, monitoring is a necessity.
TiffanyLanter TiffanyLanter 2 years
#1 is horrible advice! I would never allow my child to have a Facebook account that I couldn't see what they were posting or who their friends were. That is unsafe on many levels in today's world.
CathyNichollsGreenway CathyNichollsGreenway 2 years
Yes to all EXCEPT number one. If you're paying for the internet etc, then it's a privilege for the child to have access and the price is: parents are friends. Once they are 18 and move out of home or start paying their way then they have the choice. It's never actually been an issue yet - the two still at home are fine with this (our "baby" is about to turn 16).
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