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Funny Things Kids Say

Tot Talk: The Hilarious Things Kids Say . . . Chime In!

Most mothers think their children are crack-ups, but some things that come out of the mouths of babes are funny or offbeat enough to entertain the masses. I've compiled a few favorites that my own kids have said in the last month. Share your tot's utterances in the comments section!

  • ‎"I don't want to have a naked head when I grow up." — 4-year-old son on balding.
  • "We're playing dinosaur, chimpanzee, and yodeler." — 6-year-old daughter when I asked what she and her brothers were doing.
  • ‎"I have to take a bath, fly a plane and eat a coconut to get rid of these hiccups!" — 4-year-old son.
  • "This song makes my mouth dance!" — 4-year-old son when Pink's "Raise Your Glass" came on the car radio.
  • "Did you know Santa is St. Nick? Kinda crazy how he never died, isn't it?" — 6-year-old daughter on why Santa is real.
  • "I'm going to marry a guy who LOVES to clean!" — 6-year-old daughter on how to get rid of a big mess.
  • "There's a little man inside me and when he giggles, I hiccup." — 4-year-old son.
  • "He's going to be an actor. He looks just like Brad Pitt!" — 6-year-old daughter on her baby brother's future career.
  • "I love using the word touche!" — 6-year-old daughter while reviewing her spelling words.
  • "I don't want to break your heart, but I have to go to school now." — 4-year-old son getting out of the car.
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Join The Conversation
lizlee89 lizlee89 5 years
I'm a kindergarten teacher, so cute, precocious statements by little children are a regular occurence. One time my students were talking about what their parents did for a living. One student, no douct repeating what he had heard his mother complain, said that his dad "doesn't work; he just sits on the couch and drinks beer." One of my students was scared of the slide, so another very smart and funny student told her that she didn't need to be scared because the slide isn't as scary as Halloween. Recently my students were writing Christmas cards to their parents. My favorite declaration of love from a five-year-old to his mom and dad was "I love you until the weekend comes." There have been so many, but they are often difficult to remember. I just know that this is one of the many things I love about children, and about my job...
snarkypants snarkypants 5 years
ahhhh these are all too precious!
Girl-Jen Girl-Jen 5 years
I love to ask my 3-year-old daughter for advice. I'm actually compiling her answers into a parody advice column and giving it as a Christmas gift: Me: What should I do if I go to a party and someone is wearing the exact same dress as me? Her: You should be happy, because now you are best friends. Me: What should I do if my aunt calls while I'm in the shower? Her: Well, you should take a baf. That way you could talk on the phone. Or you could text her in the shower. Me: A lady at work was very mean to me. What should I do? Her: Don't be nice to her, because you don't want mean friends.
lickety-split lickety-split 5 years
Lol at "naked head". When my youngest was 4 we were ridding in the car and she said, "hey mom. Remember that thing we did, that Christmas thing, with the tree in the house and the gifts and stuff? That was really fun. We should do that again". When I explained that it was an annual event she was THRILLED. When my middle daughter was 3 we were wrapping a gift and I didn't have enough paper to cover the box. So I was talking out loud and said something like, "well, I guess we'll have to make due". A few minutes later my husband came in and asked what we were doing. My daughter said, in a very serious voice, "we're making due". Last year we were at a Christmas eve party and there was a darling 2 year old girl that was playing with my girls. She didn't have a lot of words, but she got her points across. At one point my youngest left and the little girl said, "where her go'ed". We've laughed about that all year. Everytime one of us is MIA we say, "where her go'ed". We're all looking forward to seeing that child this Christmas eve. I know she'll be much more verbal, but so cute.
amber512 amber512 5 years
Those were so precious! I wish I could remember some good ones that my niece and nephew have said. So many and yet whenever I'm put on the spot I can never think of any!
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