Why Moms Should Take Sick Days (and How to Make It Happen)
You've probably seen those cute NyQuil commercial; the ones that show a miserable woman walking into a room to presumably tell her boss that she needs to take a sick day. The big reveal: the boss is a toddler wearing an adorable princess-meets-superhero getup. The message: tough luck, mom; take a pill and suck it up. "Moms don't take sick days," the commercial says, and as most moms know, it's basically true. No matter how terrible we feel, we're most likely still doing the school runs, making the meals, doing the laundry, and changing the diapers. Sick days are a thing of our pre-child pasts . . . but should they be?
This Fall and Winter, I've had a tough go of it. Multiple flu strains, sinus infections, and miserable colds have found their way into my house, and I've been their number one target (my two young kids have, thankfully, been mostly unscathed). I've been sick so much that my husband suggested I needed immunity testing, and when I scoffed at that, reminding him that I'm constantly surrounded by germ incubators, he decided that maybe motherhood in general was leaving me too exhausted to fight off bugs. A good theory, but ultimately unhelpful when I'm hacking into my kids' morning bowls of Cheerios.
Every time it's the same. I'll feel something coming on, ignore it for a few days and continue my usual mommy routine (maybe adding a few extra glasses of wine to my diet because alcohol kills germs, right?), and then, suddenly, I'm knocked down for the count for a day or three. While all this illness has been frustrating, for me and definitely for my oh-so-dependant family, it has taught me a few things, namely about how important it is to take the time to get my body back on track and how to make that happen, despite having a toddler, a preschooler, and, let's admit it, a husband whose worlds don't really run smoothly unless I'm totally present to run them. Here are my tips for taking a sick day (or two) when you're a mom.
- Listen to your body, the earlier the better. This is a hard one for me because I don't like to admit to being sick and I really don't like asking for help. But the earlier you can head off a sickness by getting to the doctor or just getting more sleep, fluids, and healthy foods, the better. Moms are programmed to push through, but taking it easy early might be the difference between feeling a little off and getting really sick.
- Bring in the reinforcements. Little kids don't really care that you feel like you're being dragged behind a bus; obviously finding that toy they lost last week is way more important. So, as much as possible, bring in help. Let a partner, grandparents, or babysitter do the heavy lifting with the kids while you take care of yourself.
- Be clear about your needs and boundaries. I've learned that if I tell my husband I need to lie down for awhile, inevitably one of my kids will be in bed with me and asking for a snack within 30 minutes. If I say I'm out of commission for 24 hours, he'll make sure I get the rest I need.
- Rest and rehydrate as much as possible. Being a mom is an overwhelming, exhausting, 24-hour-a-day job, which means you have little left in reserve. When you get sick, your body's not only trying to fight off the bug, but to recover from all those sleepless nights. So make sleep your number one priority.
- Let it go. As Elsa would say, now's the time to let the normal expectations you have for your life go. Your kids' screen limit time, the cleanliness of your kitchen's floor, that growing laundry pile . . . they can all wait for a healthier day.
- Make it a teachable moment. My husband and I have used my illnesses to teach our kids about how families take care of each other. My 5-year-old daughter actually likes checking on me and playing nurse, and even her 2-year-old brother seems to get that he needs to be nice to mommy when she's sick. After all, considering that moms do the heavy lifting on most days, who deserves a sick day more?