My husband and I are part of a rebel alliance fighting the great evil in the parenting world: the expert.
Experts come in many forms. You might find them hidden in the words of a friend. They might be your mother or sister. You find them in books and magazines. You find them online and offline. They are everywhere and they seek to destroy your confidence.
The expert is not someone we should get involved with.
From the moment our son came home we received solicited and unsolicited advice. Books arrived, calls started and our nerves were shot. We had dieticians telling us what to feed our son (due to a special condition called CDH) and doctors telling us what we should and shouldn't do. Our parents were uncertain. Our friends thought they knew what was best. We became nervous wrecks.
I remember walking into the pediatrician's office that first week home, carrying a one-month-old and thinking we would be told another hundred things to do. Instead, I finally got the advice I needed, the best advice a mother could get. My pediatrician told me to stop worrying, to stop listening, and just enjoy my son.
Being told to just enjoy lifted a huge load off of my shoulders. My son wasn't something to be managed, but someone to discover and enjoy. He wasn't something that could be scheduled and maintained. He needed to be loved, nurtured and accepted. She acknowledged him as a tiny human who was different from all the other tiny humans out there. She acknowledged him as an individual, and this made my heart sing.
As moms we get advice all the time on what we should do to raise the perfect child. Some of these suggestions may have merit and others might not be relevant, but we cannot let ourselves get hung up on them. We need to stop obsessing and start enjoying. We have to remove the so-called experts from our lives. After all, there is only one expert on your children, and that's you. Only one person who knows exactly who they are and sees them on a day to day basis. The experts can help when you need them but they can also be a hindrance. We need to realize that we're okay, we're capable and we can take what we need from them without letting them run our lives.
Joining The Rebel Alliance
My husband and I are part of a rebel alliance. We've ignored the experts. We did baby-led weaning because it was right for our son. I carried him in a sling but let him sleep in his crib. He had a schedule because it worked for him. I've let him grow at his own pace, do his own thing and it's been wonderful.
I invite you to join the rebel alliance with us. Do what works for you. Ignore the experts and embrace your child for who they are. The years pass too quickly to get caught up in one style or method. Our kids don't need a method, they need us, and if we give them that, they'll have everything they need.
The views expressed in this article are those of the author and do not necessarily represent the views of, and should not be attributed to, POPSUGAR.