Q. My four and seven-year-olds were thrilled when I told them I was pregnant. How do I break the news that I miscarried? Should we do something to commemorate the baby?
A. The celebration of life is the most wonderful experience to share. We have come so far as a culture in enjoying the process and sharing it with our children. Mourning a loss, one we know can happen during any pregnancy, is not as comfortable. However, loss is a huge part of life. As our children’s first teachers we must teach them how to mourn. Find the words that your heart and faith can stand behind. Tell them something very sad happened and that it is no ones fault, the baby could not be born. Don’t be afraid to cry. Most importantly, listen to them. Listen to what they ask and answer as simply as you can. As a family you may need closure by commemorating, but don’t rush into anything. Give your heart and mind time to heal a little before you act. Take cues from your children. Help them move on by grieving, listening and giving everyone time.
— Lonna Corder
Parenting expert and Montessori school director, Lonna Corder has been doling out advice for 25 years as a teacher, parent/child consultant and on television. For more information, visit lonnacorder.com.
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