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I Don't Feel the Clock Ticking

I Don't Feel the Clock Ticking

This question was submitted from an anonymous member in our Place to Vent in our LilSugar Community. Feel free to add your advice in the comments!

In the past few years my closest friends and younger sister have all gotten married and started having children. I am excited for them all and thrilled to be starting my life with my loving husband, but I don't feel an urgency to have children just yet. I adore my niece and kids in general and know my time will come and it is important for me to make choices for my life, but somehow, my sister and friends think there is something wrong with me. They are constantly making note of "how fun it would be" if I got pregnant now so our children would be close in age. It's a sweet thought, but pretty presumptuous (I think!). How do I tell them I don't feel ready for children without sounding insecure?

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nkdavis5 nkdavis5 6 years
Tell them you'll have a baby "When God blesses you with one. " That will keep them quiet, trust me.
snowysakurasky snowysakurasky 6 years
besides the great tips above, you can say things like 'wow, you keep mentioning it!' and 'don't you remember what i told you last time you brought this up?' if necessary, to kind of point out that theyre acting weird and annoying
Deidre Deidre 6 years
I totally agree with the first poster -- you don't have to give any reasons for not wanting kids yet. When family/friends start pushing about when you're going to have kids, just say "someday." You don't owe anyone explantations for your choices anymore than your friends need to justify their parenting decisions on breastfeeding, dicipline, etc. If you feel really pressured, all you have to do is calmly say that all the comments are making you a little uncomfortable...most people are polite enough to knock it off if you state your discomfort simply and without giving them means for arguement or defensiveness.
Zivanod Zivanod 6 years
With family it's hard because they will always be more forward with you in regards to having kids. That being said, you can be the same and firmly tell them that there are other things that you and your husband wish to do before children. Maybe also tell them that when you do decide to have children, they will be some of the first people you tell.
Hello890 Hello890 6 years
Why don't you tell them: "I didn't try to talk you into NOT having babies, so please leave me alone."
MissSushi MissSushi 6 years
You just gently but firmly tell them you have absolutely no plans for children at this time in your life. Tell them you love children and will probably have them in the future, but not now. Don't elaborate, don't go into all the reasons why, just firmly tell them in one fell swoop. They don't REQUIRE an explanation and shouldn't be badgering you about this, but telling them shortly will give you the out you need. If they start up again, family has a tendancy to do that, you can be more short.
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