This Is What It'd Look Like If Teachers Were Treated Like Pro Athletes

There's a whole cable network devoted to sports, but there's no ESPN for teaching. Until now.

Key & Peele decided to turn the ridiculous, over-the-top newscasting over at SportsCenter on its head with a parody called TeachersCenter. And it was action-packed.

First, an English teacher announced she was bringing her talents back to New York City in a long-awaited press conference (her new PS 431 contract is $80 million for six years plus incentives based on test scores . . . not bad for the elementary division). Then, a rags-to-riches tale of an all-star math teacher with an incredible story ("his father living paycheck to paycheck as a humble pro football player"). Next, a slow-motion play-by-play of a history teacher making one of the best moves of the season. And when they cut to commercial, a luxury car ad features a teacher dramatically chomping down on an apple, declaring, "I am the future."

It's certainly laughable to see what the education industry would look like with up-to-the-minute news coverage of salary caps, teacher draft picks, and trade deadlines, but when the four-minute sketch is over, it might leave you wondering why the only multimillion-dollar endorsement deals go to baseball stars and not mathletes — and why the lives of pro teachers aren't nearly as lavish as those of pro athletes.