POPSUGAR Celebrity

29 Not-So-Little White Lies We Tell Our Kids (Excluding Santa)

Aug 29 2014 - 6:48am

We encourage our kids to tell the truth and have mastered the art of spotting a lie [1] a mile away. But just because we preach honesty, that doesn't mean we always practice it. We asked our Facebook readers to share the biggest lies they've ever told their kids [2]. While some answers were pretty standard (Santa Claus, the Easter bunny, and the tooth fairy), there were some that were so unique that they made us laugh out loud. Check out some of the responses, and make sure to share your go-to fib with us!

No One Nose

"That if he kept picking his nose, one day he would pick a five-pound booger and his head was going to collapse." — Cathy M.

Blame It on the Alcohol

"I tell them there's alcohol in my snack or drink when I don't want to share. Don't judge. I have three boys. Survival mode, baby!" — Dyreka K.

Hold the Cheese

"Chuck E. Cheese's was on fire so we couldn't go." — Jessica S.

Must Love Dogs

"My son kept asking for a cat so I told him I am allergic to cats so we can't have one." — Karen T.

The Birthday Blues

"That my daughter's seventh birthday was on a Monday. It was [on] Sunday, but I had to work all day. I even made a calendar for proof." — Amy F.

"My age. My son has always thought I was 21. His dad kept telling him my real age, but I said it wasn't true. Then a couple of months ago my son overheard a conversation I was having when I mentioned my real age, [and] he called me out." — Christina E.

Call the Cops

"That I was dropping them off at [the] police station if they didn't behave." — Amy N.

Worse Than Cooties

"Once she got a rash on her face and it happened after she had kissed a boy at school. So, I told her if she kisses a boy, then she will get a rash on her face. Her stepdad kissed her on the cheek the other night, and she went crazy and started crying saying now she is going to get a rash. I had to tell her it has nothing to do with her dad kissing her . . . just boys." — Codi M.

A Fire of Monsters

"Stop climbing on the fireplace, because there are zombies in there." — Liz W.

No Gum For You

"I told my kid he is allergic to gum. I hate gum chewing and kids always seem to get it stuck in something." — Valerie K.

"I say they can't chew gum until they're 10, because it's against the law." — Rebecca G.

Tell the Tooth!

"His teeth are going to turn green and fall out if he doesn't brush them. Not exactly a lie but not exactly the truth." — Felicia S.

R.I.P. Pet

"Her guinea pig died, so I told her it got kidnapped and she checked everyday for a month to see if it had been returned." — Emma A.

Daylight Savings Time Comes Early

"I moved the clock forward and said it was bedtime." — Sam M.

It's Potty Time

"That my youngest son couldn't turn three unless he was potty trained! He was potty trained one week before his birthday." — Shawna R.

Chicken or Fish?

"That fish sticks are sea chicken!" — Deborah J.

Mind Over Mush

"That if you don't use your brains and study hard it'll turn into goo and come out of your nose. I got an honors child out of it!" — Angelica D.

Not Another Disney Movie

"That Beauty and the Beast was broken [and] I'd have to buy a new one. This was after watching it twice that day already. I needed a break!" — Jenna G.

Let Go My Legos

"I told them they were allergic to the plastic [that] Legos are made of, and also to Play-Doh." — Foxie S.

Express Lane

"He likes to go behind the counter at the grocery store. I tell him they will make him work there if he doesn't stay by my side." — Nicole D.

Direct Line to Santa

"I text behavior updates to Santa in the off-season." — Lisa D.

Rub a Dub Dub

"My daughter hated getting out of the tub as a toddler, so I invented the drain man. I'd pull the plug and let her feel the suction and tell her he was hungry for her dirty water. I about wet myself the day I heard her tell her son about him." — Mary H.

Mystery Bag

"My husband tells my kids that my purse is a black hole that will suck them in if they don't stay out of it." — Natoshia W.

Buckle Up Baby!

"I told him the car wouldn't go until he was buckled up. [It] worked great once he was old enough to buckle himself!" — Ashley A.


"I told him if you lie it makes a black spot on your tongue that only mommy and daddy can see. It works like a charm." — Kelly P.

I Got My Eye on You

"That I have eyes in the back of my head." — Kelly E.

Closed For Cleaning

"Oh no, the park is closed! It needs to be cleaned because someone went there with germs." — Stevie K.

I Scream, You Scream

"That the ice cream truck only plays music when there isn't anymore ice cream left in the truck." — Tasha L.

Where Do Babies Come From?

"That when me and her dad were ready to have a baby we went to a seed store and picked out seeds of how we wanted our baby to look and then we went home. I ate them like sunflower seeds, and we just waited for her to grow, and then when it was time I unbuttoned my belly button and took her out. She's nine and thank God she still believes me." — Vanessa M.

"That he hatched out of an egg." — Candice D.

"That babies come from your butt." — Jamie M.

"I panicked when my oldest daughter asked how her baby sister got out of my belly, and I told her she came out of my belly button." — Tia A.

"I didn't really tell a lie, I just didn't fix what he believed. When I was pregnant with my twin girls, my son — 6 years old at the time — asked me how did they get in my belly. Therefore, to see what he knew, I asked him how did he think they got in there. He said he thinks I drank them. Then that's what we went with." — Shulena C.

A Very Fairy Schedule

"I forgot the tooth fairy was meant to come last night but got away with it by saying that because it was raining so heavy the tooth fairy's little wings couldn't fly with the weight of the rain." — Sarah C.

Time For Bed

"I told him all kid shows go to sleep at 8 just like him, and we have a timer set at 8 to turn the TV off automatically." — Alyssa J.

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