15 White Lies to Tell Your Kids After You Inevitably Eat All Their Halloween Candy
None of us is perfect, and most of us can probably say we're guilty of telling our kiddos little white lies every once in a while just to get through the day. ("That place is closed for dinner tonight" aka "I can't stand the food there, so we're not going.") However, once Halloween comes around, those white lies take on a different form depending on your personal affinity with miniature chocolate bars.
You spend the night of Oct. 31 watching your little one collect candy in a giant bucket, mentally noting how many of your favorites they're raking in, but you know they probably won't share. Having access to that much candy is just too good to be true for them to risk, right?
If you, like us, like to indulge in a piece or two* of your child's Halloween candy after they pass out from a sugar coma, here are a few teeny, tiny white lies you can tell them about the fate of their loot.**
- I ate all of the spicy ones.
- You're allergic to nuts so I'll eat all of the nut ones (Twix have nuts, right?).
- You definitely don't like these, I'll take care of them.
- You have to pay a "candy tax" . . . to me.
- What are you talking about? You ate all of it!
- I'm only making sure it tastes OK.
- Your sibling/other parent ate it all.
- They were all expired, I checked the wrappers.
- I just want to make sure there's nothing wrong with these.
- I got really, really hungry and needed that candy.
- You can only eat three pieces per year — sorry, kid.
- Vegetables are just as good as candy.
- A troll came in the middle of the night and stole it.
- There were mostly fruits hiding in those wrappers, so I ate all of the healthy stuff to spare you.
- You must have only gone to houses giving out empty wrappers.
*OK, OK, so we eat it all. Sue us.
**We are not responsible for any resulting tears, squeals, or flying (empty) candy buckets — it will happen. You've been warned.