My life used to be organized, washed, dried, ironed and neatly folded. I thought I knew what I wanted in life, what I desired. My nails were almost always painted, my hair usually silky smooth with the flick of a hair straightener, my clothes free of sticky substances and my cups of tea always fresh. (Warning: adult language follows.)
This morning, as I was about to sip my third time reheated cup of tea, I had to stop and sigh... Heids, maybe you could make a fresh one? The thought startled me. What have I become?
My life is such a contrast to everything I knew before I had a baby. My vagina used to be well kept and now it resembles something of an overgrown forest. Which might be a good thing, seeing as how my husband thinks sex is better now than it ever has been! Whoo! Winning in the bedroom. But seriously, a little lady-scaping love down there wouldn't hurt. Not to mention the hair on my head. I can't remember the last time I went to the hairdressers. I tell people I am going 'el natural' and if that doesn't satisfy I say I am sporting a balayage... The only time my re-growth has ever worked for me.
The other day my husband picked me up for an afternoon coffee. I had made the effort to look 'cute:' hair in a braid ('cause I didn't have time to 'do' it), makeup on, a casual dress — yeah I looked pretty good! Of course none of that gets noticed when I am holding the most adorable six-month-old baby girl, who beams at him when he comes into view. I merely nod my head, "Hi Babe"... After we pack ourselves into the car he jumps in, turns to me and says (I can feel the love and affection coming, he is going to notice the effort and tell me I look beautiful), "You have a booger in your nose." Totally cool, let me just fix that... I didn't need a compliment anyhow, cause I am invincible — did you see the size of that thing I pushed out of my tiny little vagina just six months ago?
Life is a little less black and white and a little more relative these days. The term 'dirty' is a fabulous example — my bra is often sporting a film of stale-smelling breast milk. Yet I keep on wearing it until it is too far gone because I only have two bras I can wear at the moment and the washing doesn't always make the to-do list.
Having said (in a slightly over-sharing kind of way) all that, I wouldn't trade if for anything. Yeah, so what if my reality consists of me walking around in a regurgitated milk haze, spots and stains on my clothes, probably a little vomit in my hair, drool who-knows-where, and let’s not discount the possibility of there being a little poop in the mix? Having a baby definitely puts a spin on life as you know it, bringing a perspective that somehow makes you a little wiser, less pretentious and soft around the edges.
So while I keep losing my dignity, life keeps getting sweeter. My baby has brought so much joy to Chad and I, I don’t know where to put it all. Christmas had a new aura of excitement and thrill now that we have a special little girl to share it with. And as for the new year, well I just hope it doesn’t go too fast, cause I want to relish every moment. I am the happiest I have ever been despite the drastic shift motherhood has brought.
P.S. I managed to actually paint my toenails this morning while bub was having a nap — a festive red. It is all about celebrating the wins, no matter how big or small!
The views expressed in this article are those of the author and do not necessarily represent the views of, and should not be attributed to, POPSUGAR.