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Life as a Single Dad

OnSugar Blog: Just Another Daddy Day

Moms aren't the only ones who like to think out loud. Plenty of dads do too! The following post is the first entry on Paulblanchard's new OnSugar blog, Being 'Daddy'.

I decided I would start this blog to share some of my experiences with others who may face the same challenges as I. Being a single father is no bowl of cherries. Especially when you have a tweenage daughter.

Believe me when I say "there is a lot of back-story!" to me, who I am, and what brought me to this place in my life. For now, I am going to keep this simple. I was an absentee father for many years, and only by the grace of God did I 1) realize I could change and, 2) realize there was a need for the change. Not only for me but for my children.

Today I am proud to be called Daddy, and what's better . . . my kids are proud to call me Daddy.

Want to see more? Start following Being 'Daddy', or start your own OnSugar blog. It's easy, it's free, and we just might feature your content on our site.

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Paulblanchard Paulblanchard 5 years
as was stated earlier I open myself up to criticism by posting my life in a blog :)
Paulblanchard Paulblanchard 5 years
I reread my previous comments just to be sure but in them I was generalizing. I apologize if you felt I was referencing your particular situation. The only experience I can draw from is, of course, my own. I will reiterate here though, I do not have visitations with my children, they live with me.
Paulblanchard Paulblanchard 5 years
You are right that I could have fought to gain visitation of my daughter. I didnt and only I am to blame for that. I wouldn't presume that addiction is every mans reason for leaving. Addiction is a recognized disease though. Self inflicted as it may be. I am an extremely dedicated father. I love my children. And they are beyer for having me in their life.
Paulblanchard Paulblanchard 5 years
And during my absence there was a one year period of hospitalization, beyond that though I am in remarkable good health. My situation is not an epiphany due to encroaching mortality. The mother and grandparents are indeed amazing in the fact that never did they share their anger with me with my kids. The kids were only told that I was sick, and that it was addiction. They we told when I was better I would be back.
Paulblanchard Paulblanchard 5 years
In response to the first comment, and maybe even the second, The majority of my absence was in fact due to incarceration. Never a moment went by that I did not wish to be in my daughters life. Soon after she was 6 months old, her mother and I unfortunately were unable to continue our relationship. Constantly arguing with one another. It passed any point of reconciliation in juse of '99. She told me to leave, I did. the following day at work I received emails from her mother saying she would go to any lengths to see me in jail if I returned. Mind you this had nothing to do with my care for my daughter. That is really quite clear in the fact that now I have returned and the mother and grandmother are glad for it. I honestly have no idea what my daughters mother might have told her mom to illecit such a response, but never-the-less, I listened. I was devastaed. I went out drinking and met a woman and within a month she introduced me to drugs. It is no ones fault but mine that I became addicted to narcotics, but this is what led to my incarceration. Acheiving sobriety was difficult, but communication with my daughter and getting my head clear enough to realize that my presence was both wanted and needed has changed my life. My children do not have visitation with me. My children are, always with me. except when I am at work. I was a great father before I left, and am a great father now that I have returned. There is no excuse for the time I missed and would never kid myself about one. My son, and I love him dearly, is one of those whos father left never to look back. I do not know the situation of his desicion but My son only knows me as dad. I cannot change the sins of my past, no one can. I have no time machine. The bad choices I made, the time I missed. If you asked my daughter, she would tell you, she is happy I am here now. And so am I. I realize my situation is not really comparable to other fathers who leave. never do I/or have I felt my actions were excusable, but keeeping a father away from his children for the sake of the mothers anger only hurts the kids. parents, both good and bad, need to be able to look past there issues with each other for the sake of their children. Much like my kids mom and I have done. She is the bread winner and I take care of the kids. I cook, I clean, I make school lunches, I do homework, we play and we laugh.
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