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Mothers Give Up Custody of Children

Would You Give Up Custody If Daddy Were a Better Parent?

When it comes to child custody, moms tend to have an edge on the competition. Judges often find them more capable and sometimes, dads agree and settle for either joint custody or visitation rights. However, there are cases where a father fights tooth and bone for his offspring and can win the court's decision if he shows all the right stuff.

One couple came to the end of their marital road and both decided their three boys would be better off living with the mother. As the dad moved south for a job, the mama found herself refereeing wrestling matches, fighting migraines and suffering panic attacks. At the point of a mental breakdown, she relinquished custody and shipped the young lads off to their father where he would raise them into fine young men.

While some might see the mother's actions as selfish, others may say she put the children's needs before her own. Would you give up custody of your babies if you knew their father was a more competent parent?

Image Source: Getty
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Melissa14335169 Melissa14335169 3 years
I know that this comment list is kind of old, but I felt the need to post a comment. During my divorce, I had physical custody of my 3 year old daughter with her father having her every weekend. With the devastating circumstances I was left in during the divorce, unable to work due to a disability and being forced to go on welfare, I was evicted from the apartment myself and my ex-husband shared. I did not want my youngest to possibly go through the shelter system (I have a 16 year old from a previous relationship), I asked her father to take her. He was given physical custody and I see her 2 times a month, if I can afford the trip to see her, as I have to travel by public transportation and a cab to go and see here, as well as pay child support. I am still on welfare, waiting for disability and still unable to work. Thankfully I was able to move in with my boyfriend, who took myself and my oldest daughter in. To a lot of people, I have had to explain why I would give custody to her father. She now has a stable, financially secure loving home and I couldn't have asked for anything more for her. He may have been a horrible husband, but I will say he is a great dad. I talk to her on the phone every day and still try to be a part of her life as much as I can. In my heart, I feel this was the best decision I made for my youngest daughter so she could have an opportunity to not have to go through the continuous cycle of poverty that I grew up in. I cannot provide the house or the money, but I give her all the love that I can. I did not give her to her father for selfish reasons, I did it so she would have the best life possible. I hate being judged for putting my daughter's needs ahead of my own. It was the hardest decision of my life, having been her primary caretaker for most of her life, but because I loved my daughter that much, I made the decision for her best interests, so she could have what I could not provide for her.
megmeg96 megmeg96 4 years
I am a single dad of two beautiful teenage daughters. I have been trying to get my ex to come see our daughters. She has refused all offers. My ex does not have a job lives with her parents and her dad tells me he pays child support. I am considering to take action for full custody but I want to know what anyone thinks thank you very much
johndoe57 johndoe57 6 years
NoviNovela--- LET ME TELL U SOMETHING, IF I COULD UNLOAD MY TWELVE YR OLD TO MY EX I WOULD DO IT IN A HEART BEAT.YOU WANNA KNOW WHY I CAN'T?MY EX IS THE DEVIL HIMSELF, DON'T CARE ABOUT ANYONE BUT HIMSELF.HE RAPES KIDS,HE IS SO SELFISHTHE BOTTOM LINE- I WON'T LET HIM CARE FOR MY DOG.SO, THAT WHY I CAN'T SEND HIS SON TO HIM, HE'S BETTER OFF WITH ME.IF MY EX WOULD DO A BETTER JOB THAN ME, THEN WHY WOULDNT I LET HIM DO ALL THE WORK & I STILL BE THEIR MOM.YOU GAVE YOUR MOTHER A REALLY BAD TIME. IT WAS MORE THAN SHE CAN HANDLE SO DONT BLAME HER COMPLETELY ON EVERYTHING.BECAUSE SHE GAVE BIRTH TO YOU DON'T GIVE U THE RIGHT TO CONTINUE TO TORMENT HER DAILY.AS A MATTER OF FACT I COMMEND THOSE WOMEN THAT HAVE THE COURAGE TO DUMP YOU MORRONS WHO THINK ITS OK TO TORMENT THEIR MOTHER EVERY MINUTE OF THEIR LIFE.IF U ARE 13, A BOY & YOU STILL DON'T KNOW U ARE TORMENTING UR MOTHER BY NOT GETTING UP ON TIME TO GO SCHOOL, MISSING SCHOOL BUS, NOT HELPING FEED URSELF & CLEAN UR ROOM, DROPPING FOOD PARTICLES EVERYWHERE MAKING IT INCREASINGLY NASTY TO LIVE WITH YOU,ON TOP OF IT GETTING BAD REPORTS FROM SCHOOLU CONTINUE TO TORMENT HER IN EVERYWAY U CAN, AT 13, U RE NOT HELPING HER TO HELP U, THEN SHE’S FREE TO DUMP YOU TO ANYONE SHE THINKS CAN DO BETTER. SHE’S TRIED SO DON’T BLAME, SHE GAVE U A CHANCE. I WON'T BLAME ANY WOMAN 4 NOT WANTING TO PUT UP WITH THAT. IT'S A MATTER OF CHOICE. YOU OWE UR MOTHER HER YOUTH, HER EFFORT, PUTTING UP WITH U UNTILL YOU WERE THAT 12 & 13.HOW MUCH DID YOU PAY HER 4 UR UPBRINGING TILL U WERE THAT 12 & 13.HOW MUCH DID U PAY HER FOR DISFIGURING HERSELF TILL U WERE BORN?-PRICELESS-GO CALL UR MOTHER & START FROM THERETHIS IS MODERN AGES, & ITS ABOUT TIME WOMEN START SUING THEIR GROWN UP CHILDREN WHO ARE SIMPLY IGNORING THEM. THEY CARRY U, GIVE BIRTH TO U, FEED U, CLOTH U & GIVE UP EVERY PLAN THEY HAVE 4 U, EVEN WHEN THE SPERM DONORS WALKS AWAY COS U SHOWED UP THEREFORE THE FUN IS OVER, UR MOTHER STAYED & WAS THERE 4 U. IT DOSENT MATTER IF SHE DID IT RIGHT OR WRONG, SHE SIMPLY DIDN’T THROW U AWAY, REGARDLESS OF WHY U THINK SHE KEPT U- SHE WAS THERE 4 U. & WHEN UR ALL GROWN U HATE HER 4 MAKING A FEW MISTAKES. PHONE CALLS TO HER BECOMES A PRECIOUS THING SHE DON’T DESERVE? SHE DESERVES TO GATHER UR POOPS & KEEP U CLEAN BUT SHE DON’T DESERVE UR GRACIOUS PHONE CALL? U CAN DO BETTER THAN A CALL, TAKE CARE OF HER, IT’S YOUR JOB PERIOD IF U CAN’T TREAT HER RIGHT AT HER OLDER AGE, SHE HAS THE RIGHT TO SUE U FOR EXPENSES, COST OF REARING U & TIME SPENT RAISING U.
johndoe57 johndoe57 6 years
NoviNovela--- LET ME TELL U SOMETHING, IF I COULD UNLOAD MY TWELVE YR OLD TO MY EX I WOULD DO IT IN A HEART BEAT. YOU WANNA KNOW WHY I CAN'T? MY EX IS THE DEVIL HIMSELF, DON'T CARE ABOUT ANYONE BUT HIMSELF. HE RAPES KIDS, HE IS SO SELFISH THE BOTTOM LINE- I WON'T LET HIM CARE FOR MY DOG. SO, THAT WHY I CAN'T SEND HIS SON TO HIM, HE'S BETTER OFF WITH ME. IF MY EX WOULD DO A BETTER JOB THAN ME, THEN WHY WOULDNT I LET HIM DO ALL THE WORK & I STILL BE THEIR MOM. YOU GAVE YOUR MOTHER A REALLY BAD TIME. IT WAS MORE THAN SHE CAN HANDLE SO DONT BLAME HER COMPLETELY ON EVERYTHING. BECAUSE SHE GAVE BIRTH TO YOU DON'T GIVE U THE RIGHT TO CONTINUE TO TORMENT HER DAILY. AS A MATTER OF FACT I COMMEND THOSE WOMEN THAT HAVE THE COURAGE TO DUMP YOU MORRONS WHO THINK ITS OK TO TORMENT THEIR MOTHER EVERY MINUTE OF THEIR LIFE. IF U ARE 13, A BOY & YOU STILL DON'T KNOW U ARE TORMENTING UR MOTHER BY NOT GETTING UP ON TIME TO GO SCHOOL, MISSING SCHOOL BUS, NOT HELPING FEED URSELF & CLEAN UR ROOM, DROPPING FOOD PARTICLES EVERYWHERE MAKING IT INCREASINGLY NASTY TO LIVE WITH YOU, ON TOP OF IT GETTING BAD REPORTS FROM SCHOOL U CONTINUE TO TORMENT HER IN EVERYWAY U CAN, AT 13, U RE NOT HELPING HER TO HELP U, THEN SHE’S FREE TO DUMP YOU TO ANYONE SHE THINKS CAN DO BETTER. SHE’S TRIED SO DON’T BLAME, SHE GAVE U A CHANCE. I WON'T BLAME ANY WOMAN 4 NOT WANTING TO PUT UP WITH THAT. IT'S A MATTER OF CHOICE. YOU OWE UR MOTHER HER YOUTH, HER EFFORT, PUTTING UP WITH U UNTILL YOU WERE THAT 12 & 13. HOW MUCH DID YOU PAY HER 4 UR UPBRINGING TILL U WERE THAT 12 & 13. HOW MUCH DID U PAY HER FOR DISFIGURING HERSELF TILL U WERE BORN?-PRICELESS- GO CALL UR MOTHER & START FROM THERE THIS IS MODERN AGES, & ITS ABOUT TIME WOMEN START SUING THEIR GROWN UP CHILDREN WHO ARE SIMPLY IGNORING THEM. THEY CARRY U, GIVE BIRTH TO U, FEED U, CLOTH U & GIVE UP EVERY PLAN THEY HAVE 4 U, EVEN WHEN THE SPERM DONORS WALKS AWAY COS U SHOWED UP THEREFORE THE FUN IS OVER, UR MOTHER STAYED & WAS THERE 4 U. IT DOSENT MATTER IF SHE DID IT RIGHT OR WRONG, SHE SIMPLY DIDN’T THROW U AWAY, REGARDLESS OF WHY U THINK SHE KEPT U- SHE WAS THERE 4 U. & WHEN UR ALL GROWN U HATE HER 4 MAKING A FEW MISTAKES. PHONE CALLS TO HER BECOMES A PRECIOUS THING SHE DON’T DESERVE? SHE DESERVES TO GATHER UR POOPS & KEEP U CLEAN BUT SHE DON’T DESERVE UR GRACIOUS PHONE CALL? U CAN DO BETTER THAN A CALL, TAKE CARE OF HER, IT’S YOUR JOB PERIOD IF U CAN’T TREAT HER RIGHT AT HER OLDER AGE, SHE HAS THE RIGHT TO SUE U FOR EXPENSES, COST OF REARING U & TIME SPENT RAISING U.
bluepuppybites bluepuppybites 6 years
This sort of thing happened to a friend of mine, she had custody, but after a car accident was unable to care for her boys, so she and her ex came to an agreement with no messy custody battles or child support, they would just care and support the boys as needed. Seeing that the two parents are still friends probably makes this situation easier.
runningesq runningesq 6 years
I don't think it's selfish at all - I think it's the oppisite: she realized what was best for her children and acted on that .
Zivanod Zivanod 6 years
I'm sure it would be a very difficult decision, but if you didn't think you could handle them then joint or full custody should be given over to the other parent.
Chrstne Chrstne 6 years
If you are unfit to be the custodial parent, then you should be able to say "this is what is best for my kids" and do it. I am sure it would be hard, but if I truly felt that I was incapable of raising my kids in the best way possible, or that my ex/child's father would give them a better environment, then I would do whatever was necessary. That is totally unselfish. That is one of the most selfless things a person can do. You never give up custody out of hatred or out of selfishness. You do it out of immense love.
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