Throughout your pregnancy, you’ll have many tests, even with the most low-risk pregnancies. Most of these are routine and they’re used simply to reassure the doctor and you that everything is going smoothly and developing as it should. You may have a few tests, or you may have many. It really all depends on how good your insurance is and how many kids your doctor has to put through college.
A test that you’ll have repeatedly throughout your pregnancy is a urine test, as Circle of Moms member Jacquie B. found out a few months ago. At your first visit, your doctor will probably want to do a urinalysis and check for miscellaneous medical stuff. That’s the technical term. Later on, he’ll check your urine at every visit for signs of protein, which could indicate the serious problem of pre-eclampsia. Fortunately, by catching the possibility of pre-eclampsia early on with this urine test, doctors can manage it before it becomes a real problem.
This is a simple enough test. All the nurse will do is dip a specially treated paper into the cup of urine and examine the colored lines on the paper. All you have to do is pee in a cup. Easy enough, right? One would think.
It actually is a piece of cake for your first couple visits. However, as your belly grows, so does the difficulty of actually peeing in the cup. By the time you’re nine months pregnant and have a belly the size of a water buffalo, it’s physically impossible to reach around your abdomen and get the cup anywhere near your butt. At this point, just pee in the toilet then scoop a little toilet water into the cup when you’re done. Although, you might not want to use this method if your doctor’s office uses those deodorizing tablets that turn the toilet water blue. Otherwise, go for it! Yes, your test results will undoubtedly be strange, but it’s better than peeing all over your hand, the toilet seat, your pants, and the floor. Not that that’s ever happened to me or anything. I’m just sayin’. . . .
Oftentimes, your doctor will ask for first morning urine for the same reason you needed to use first morning urine when you took your home pregnancy test – it’s magical. The doctor will give you a cup to fill at home so you can bring the magical first morning urine in to your appointment later in the day. After filling the cup, you’re supposed to put it in the refrigerator to keep it fresh, I guess. This is not a big deal when it’s your first baby. If, however, you have other young children at home who like to help themselves to apple juice from the fridge, it could cause some issues.
As you drive to the office, you need to set your pee cup somewhere so it won’t spill. Your car’s built-in cup holders are perfect for this! Gross, yes, but handy. It’s okay because it’s got a top that screws on securely so you don’t have to worry about mistakenly picking it up, thinking it’s your double mocha half-caf iced latte. When it’s time for your appointment, you have to hide your pee cup as you go into the office. I’m not sure why this is since at least half the patients there have their own pee cups, but I’m telling you, you have to do it, probably for the same reason you have to hide your underwear in your jeans while you have an internal exam. You don’t want to look like a freak who walks in just holding a cup of pee in plain sight of everyone else. You have two options for hiding your cup. You can put it in your purse, which might seem like a good idea at first, but let me explain. Sometimes those cups leak. Enough said. Or you can put it in a discreet paper bag and have people wonder if you’ve got a pint of malt liquor or a pee cup in the bag. I recommend the latter.
Author and award-winning mommy blogger Dawn Meehan is the creator of the popular and hilarious BecauseISaidSo.com. Laugh your way through your pregnancy with Meehan’s humorous new book: You’ll Lose the Baby Weight (and OTHER LIES about pregnancy and childbirth.
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