There are many things about labor that you can't possibly imagine until you've experienced them. One of the best-kept dirty secrets? Poop!
I thought I was just having stomach issues when I went into labor, which is unusual for me. I can chow down on jalapeños, sodas, and ice cream in one sitting without tummy ramifications. That night, however, I must have visited the throne 15 times before I finally realized my baby was making her way out. As she began to push her way out into the world, she rested heavily on my bowels. A common experience for many laboring women, I was actually quite relieved, thinking there would be nothing left once I made it to the delivery room.
Once in the hospital, the contractions took the place of the stomachaches. After I got the epidural, I felt zero pain — not even the contractions. Relieved that my restroom trips had come to a halt, I rested and waited for a couple more hours until I was ready to push.
Nearly seven hours after my first labor pains, I laid in a hospital bed ready to meet my child. As I began pushing, I described my experience as a "good workout." Nearing the final heaves, I could tell that the birth was coming soon. I looked at the nurses in the room and said, "I am going to address the big elephant in the room. I don't want to poop on the table!" They all laughed at me and said, "It's not a big deal if you do. Most everyone does." Whining, I said, "But I really DON'T want to!" And just then, I pushed. The baby did not come out, but something else did. Right there with a wipe and a smile, the nurse took care of me the way I was to take care of my newborn in the near future.
At my last ob-gyn appointment, I asked my doctor how many of her patients deliver number two before they produce a baby. She said 75 percent! And, she admitted that she slyly omits the poopy fact from her patients in an effort to make them feel less humiliated.
Tell me — did you deliver numero dos before you had your baby, too?