Yesterday the majority of my family gathered at my Grandma’s house to celebrate her upcoming birthday. Everyone huddled over the baby and made the same generic comments – ‘he’s getting so big!’, ‘how is breastfeeding going?’, and of course ‘are you getting any sleep yet?’. This is where my husband decided to announce to the whole world that ‘sleep isn’t the only thing NOT happening at our house!’. This was both hilarious and shaming. I wasn’t ashamed because he was talking about sex in front of my parents (they aren’t prudes. I mean, they do know where babies come from), but because I feel I have been neglecting one of my duties as a wife.
As the six-week-wait is inventively coming to an end (this Friday at 12:06 a.m…not that I’m counting), I find myself cringing at the thought of intimacy. Maybe because my husband has been waiting like a caged animal the last five weeks and I am slightly afraid for my life if we were to have sex, or maybe because I am incapable of feeling any level of connectedness while I am drained physically and emotionally.
When to have sex postpartum seems to vary vastly among couples. Women on the December 2013 BirthClub are now talking about their experiences and fears of their first post-baby romp. Check out some of their comments here.
Huffington Post recently posted a hilarious article stating there are four types of women when it comes to sex post-baby. Tracy Moore states, “Did you know that even if you are zombie-tired and your vagina feels like a slinky that your number-one goal (after your other number-one goals of taking care of your baby, taking care of yourself, figuring out your career and working on your communication with your partner) should be having sex with that partner as soon as possible?”
She categorized women’s postpartum sexual desire in temperatures. These groupings range from ‘hot, hot, hot’ to ‘cold as ice’. Unfortunately at this moment, I would place myself in the ‘cold as ice’ category. For now I will blame this on living in the northern part of South Dakota during the latest polar vortex.
What is normal for post-baby sex anyway? Here is what our BabyCenter experts have to say.
More great reads from BabyCenter:
Terrifying babysitting tales from the moms who hired them
5 phrases to help you survive motherhood
How much is too much in sex ed class?
How long is too long to let your baby cry it out?