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Questions You Shouldn't Ask a Mom

Just Don't Ask: The 10 Questions No Mom Wants to Hear

Source: Shutterstock

While being bombarded daily with small-talk questions about children and parenting may be an inescapable side effect of motherhood, there are certain questions that no mom wants to hear. From too personal to downright rude, there are some things that no mom should ever have to answer. See what real moms say are the worst questions you can ask them.

1. Are you sick?


Source: Disney

Unless a mom has a horrible hacking cough, bite your tongue on asking about her health. "I hate, 'Are you sick?'," says mother-of-two Corrine T. "No, I look like a sack of pounded poop because my son thinks it's a scream to wake me up at 5 a.m. asking for breakfast!" Bottom line — no woman wants to be told she looks bad.

2. Why don't you want more children?

Source: HBO

Often asked by someone who thinks you should want more, this question is worse than the more neutral "Do you want another child?" As Lacye says, "I'm not you and I just don't want anymore!" Deciding how many children to have is a personal decision that moms shouldn't have to justify or explain to anyone.

3. Is she a good baby?

Source: E!
This question is especially irksome after a challenging day. "What do you want me to say?" Laura H. asks. "No? No, she's not a 'good' baby. She's challenging, complicated, intense, frustrating, sensitive, loud, demanding, etc.! Thanks for forcing me to admit she isn't good."

4. Is he your brother?

Source: ABC
Young moms are particularly irritated by questions that reveal strangers' assumptions about their age. "At an OB visit, the lady at the front desk asked me, 'Where are your parents?'," Laura H recalls. Likewise, older moms hate being asked if they're the grandmother.

5. Is he yours?

Source: USA
Questions related to the nationalities or ethnicities of the baby and his parents can cause major offense. "I am Caucasian and my husband is Chinese," Kristina T explains. "Our 8-month-old son looks exactly like his father, so I get the 'Is he yours?' or 'Is his dad Asian?' all the time. Like it matters."

6. Did you have IVF?

Source: NBC
Chatting with a mom of twins? Steer clear of this question. Moms of multiples are seriously peeved by questions about fertility treatments. Kathy S. remembers a situation her daughter went through. "When she was pregnant with her twins, EVERYONE asked, 'Did you have IVF?' She hated, hated, hated it! She said she was always so angry she couldn't think of a smart reply."

7. Is it a boy or a girl?

Source: Disney
He's dressed in blue, she's dressed in pink . . . Isn't it obvious? "The whole 'Is it a boy or girl?' question has made me laugh since the first time I took my oldest to church," Melanie S. shares. "Dressed all in blue, sitting in a blue carrier with a pacifier that said, 'I'm a boy!' People still had to ask. Really?!"

8. Did you have a natural birth?

Source: Wiffle Gif
"I have to say the most annoying/invasive question I get asked all the time is 'Did you give birth naturally? Or was it C-section?'" Jaime S. shares. "Um, I don't know. You?" Amy G. agrees: "I still don't know how to respond. Whose business is that?"

9. When will you try for a boy?

Source: Fox
Questions that imply a mom should want a child of a certain gender are also bound to ruffle mama birds' feathers. "What bugs me the most is [that] they always say WHEN, as if we NEED to have a boy or there's something wrong," says Holly, a mother of three.

10. Haven't you had enough?

Source: Wiffle Gif
Posed to moms with large families, this question implies you shouldn't be having more than two kids. We love Heather H.'s suggestion for a tongue-in-cheek response. "If you met my husband, you would understand."

What's the most irritating question you've been asked as a mom?

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MistyCuellar MistyCuellar 2 years
These questions never bothered me, I was actually amused with most of them. I had my older five by the time I was 21 so people always assumed I was babysitting! So now that I have eight kids no#10 gets asked ALOT! My response? "We didn't have cable", or "We watched the wrong channels and it lead to this"!
MelssaBeattie MelssaBeattie 2 years
Granted any question that you may repeatedly have to answer will be annoying! But really? aren't the reactions to some of these questions just a bit over the top? There are such things as "ice breakers", "shootin the S**t" and just "makin small talk"! So come on ladies show some tolerance to some of these questions and really is it the worst thing ever and hopefully Aunt Hag wasn't the questioner with nothing but rude intent! lol
SerenaWilliams9444 SerenaWilliams9444 2 years
As a mother of a bi-racial daughter I get very annoyed with people who ask "what is her father?" or "does she look like her father?" The other thing that annoys both of us is when people assume she is Spanish (she's black and white) and they start speaking to her in Spanish. Now it's humorous because she will yell at them "I SPEAK ENGLISH" and they back off. It's not that we don't want her to know other languages, but the assumption that she can't converse with them in English is presumptuous and preposterous--the child could belong to the DAR if she wanted to join (we hope not) and both of her parents families have lived in this country for centuries.
JoyMcCowan JoyMcCowan 2 years
When I got pregnant with my first child, I wasn't married. The worst question I was asked by acquaintances AND strangers was "are you going to keep it?" Both my children are biracial also. So in addition to "boy or girl" when they were babies was the "what's the father?" question. I'm dark-skinned and my kids are light-skinned. Can't fix it. Don't want to.
LeighAnnStephens LeighAnnStephens 2 years
I will never forget...in regards to #8. I was forced by the USPS to have a doctor's written note as to HOW my baby was born. It was not then or ever will it be anyone's business just how my child comes out of my body. There are only two ways to birth a baby. It really doesn't leave much room for error.I should never have been forced to tell them under threat of losing my job. I felt violated that everyone was thinking about it! Did it really matter?
Eve31921 Eve31921 3 years
I usually respond with a sarcastic joke: 1. Yes/No, thanks for telling me I look like $#!+ *fake smile* 2. Have you met my li'l terrors?!? 3. I don't know, still deciding if she's a keeper... 4. My husband's been asked if I was the babysitter! Lol 5. Strangers literally do double-takes when they see my light-skinned Puerto Rican hubby with our obviously Asian-looking daughter. When they ask "Is she yours?" or "Is your wife Asian?" He always jokes, "No, I just rent cute babies coz they're total chick magnets!" 7. I REFUSE to dress my daughters like a fluffy cotton candy threw up on them, so my hubby had their ears pierced when they were babies just to avoid this question. 9. I didn't want to know my babies' gender, so I always got asked, "are you hoping for a boy?" My hubby and I always say, "We're hoping for a healthy baby with ten fingers and ten toes, preferably not an alien of the reptilian variety, although that might be cool if they can just regenerate lost limbs..." 10. "We're YOU absent from school the day they taught this in Health class? See, when a man and a woman..." or if my hubby and I are feeling saucy, we might say something like, "well, SOMEONE couldn't get enough of this sexy b!+€#" Btw, LOVE Nicole's post! I've found that giving ridiculous answers make them stop and realize how ridiculous their questions are.
KristinaBarlow KristinaBarlow 3 years
My kids are 12 1/2 years apart and the worst I have head was 1) Is she your grandchild (my oldest was only 12 at the time!), and 2) Do they have the same fathers? (Yes) but why is that anyone's business?
JamieKent JamieKent 4 years
Since I was 28 when we had our fifth child four months ago, we have heard "don't you know what causes that?" A LOT!! It drives me crazy! Of course we know what causes that, why do you think we have so many?! We had three boys, a girl, and then another boy. And we never found out what any of them were until they were born. I hated it when I was pregnant with my daughter, people would say things like, "well this time it had better be a girl!" as if they were demanding it. As if I had any control over what I was having or implying that I could never be happy with only boys. Since having our fourth boy, I get asked if we are going to try again for a sister for our daughter. Again, as if I had any control. But also it is implying to me that they think not only that I must be unhappy with so many boys, but that my daughter can't possibly be happy only having brothers. God has given us the family that was meant for us and I wouldn't have my family any other way!
AngelPeterson AngelPeterson 4 years
I used to have people touch my belly all the time! One woman touched my belly (I didn't know her) so I rubbed hers and asked how far along she was- she got in a huff! I also had one woman- about a month after my son was born, saw me and him in the store one day, she asked if I was breast feeding.
RachelBlackett RachelBlackett 4 years
The biggest thing that annoyed me while pregnant was Why I didn't find out the sex...ermmm because I didn't want to!! And with this one I am pregnant with now "are you hoping its a boy?" (As I have a daughter) plus the sex one, its driving me bonkers!! I also hated being lectured on why I should have persisted Breast feeding. Or would get the dirtiest looks when I was seen Bottlefeeding (although until she was 4 months it was EMB!!) I tried to breastfeed but there wasn't enough, and was very watery. I got PND badly because no matter what I did my daughter wasn't satistified. I already felt like a failure and for people to do that made me feel so much worse. It was awful!!
cherryday cherryday 4 years
I am a twin and hated it when people aske how many babies I was carrying I would say 1 and they were like are you sure grrrrr used to annoy me
Kate61253 Kate61253 4 years
I had triplet boys before I had my other 2 sons, I got asked questions like you would not believe. My favorite answer to weed out the nosy people was "Why do you ask?" It was a polite way to make people thing "Hmm, that is a kinda personal question and is it really any of my business?" Some people are there are genuinely curious because they themselves have experienced fertility or know someone who is. MOST people are just rude and nosy; for those people, (and they are easy to spot) who ask how I got my triplets I would say "No, my husband has 6 testicles" and keep on walking. For those who say "You have your hands full" I say, I'd rather have full hands than empty ones. I made one man stop and think when he said "Are they Triplets? I'm so sorry!" I said. Don't be sorry for me, I am very blessed!" After a few moments he actually apologized and told me that I was right and that I was blessed.
ShaeDesmond ShaeDesmond 4 years
I find it most amusing when I walk down town with my partner and his mother. His little brother is 4, we're 17 and 18, but we have a 1 year old little girl who looks just like her daddy. We've had a couple of people who have assumed that our daughter is her's and I'm just a tag along. =P But most amusing of all is when I go downtown with friends (mainly guys) and people just assume that which ever man I'm with at the time is my daughter's father, even if they are old enough to be my father! I mean, I don't even know these people and they act like I'm some gold digging tramp! Pathetic.
Kimstrickland31862 Kimstrickland31862 4 years
I hate it most when women tell me they are done having kids, they don't want the responsibility or have to go through it ever again, I have had 8 miscarriages in between having my 3 miracles. I would go through it a thousand times more to have healthy baby. It was easy for them, it wasn't easy for me. I can't take my pregnancies for granted, I have to enjoy every moment I have, because I never know what is coming...
Kimstrickland31862 Kimstrickland31862 4 years
Number 10 is the one I heard when pregnant with each of my 3, uggghhh...YES, I know exactly how, when, what causes pregnancy...I was asked this with my first one, I was so upset, like they were implying that I shouldn't be having any kids. Idiots. I also get number 7. My daughter was dressed head to toe in pink lace and ruffles, pink tights, pink shoes pink ruffly headband, and I had a woman ask if she was a boy...good grief...
AmandaYoung76995 AmandaYoung76995 4 years
The most annoying question I get is "Are you done now?" Im pregnant with my 6th child and im always getting asked if its my last one. My response is usually, "No, I thought I'd keep going and try to make my own football team."
AndreaRiccelli AndreaRiccelli 4 years
I will honestly say that I was tired of getting asked if I breast fed. No I did not, and yes my two lovely daughters are smart and healthy. I finally started answering the quetion: No my boobs are for decoration only.
jenniferhicks6798 jenniferhicks6798 4 years
People used to ask me all the time if my soon was mixed when he was a baby which it was completely obvious. I finally started saying "No I just went tanning while I was pregnant and he just turned out that way!"
LaureLamb LaureLamb 4 years
"Did ya'll get married just bcs of the baby" ugh I absolutely hate this question!!! My husband and I have been married a year and half and my son is 9wks!!!!
AntoinetteLewisClarke AntoinetteLewisClarke 4 years
Oooh so many of these things grate me! My sister often gets "do they all have the same father" because her 3 boys all look completely different, but are from the same father. I was walking around town with them (my 3 nephlings) once when I was in my late teens (my sister is 10yrs older than me) and had an elderly woman scold me for having so many children when I was so young. A: NOT your business you old bag B: They're not mine and if they were I would've got pregnant at 10yrs old, an age that would suggest a result of abuse rather than misbehaviour! I've also had a friend being told off by strangers for letting her not even 1yr son still have a bottle because they assumed he was older because of his size. Then there's the BOY or GIRL question, I was walking through a mall with my niece who had long blonde curls wearing a pink and purple stripey, fluffy AND sparkly jumper on with Jeans with butterfly and flower details and I was asked if she was a boy? Are you blind? Then taking my own children to the Dr, my son Angus is a very solid wee man was dressed in a blue tracksuit, my daughter who is rather petite Faye was in a pink dress and tights and the Dr asks which is which? One is called Angus and one is called Faye, guess!? Some people should think before they speak!
CoMMember13613840227058 CoMMember13613840227058 4 years
I have three girls and they all look a little different so I've been asked if they all have the same dad. My first thought, Did she/he really just ask that? By the way the answer is yes.
NicoleHester66025 NicoleHester66025 4 years
The question that annoys me most is, "Who's the father?" From complete strangers no less. As if they would know or as if to assume I don't know. Obviously the answer is my husband. But if you catch me in a cheeky mood I'm liable to tell you I have no idea, it was a really wild party.
DoraHart DoraHart 4 years
People just want to make a connection. That's why they're asking questions. Someone is reaching out to you, and you're rejecting them. If what they are asking, offends you, you don't have to be rude, but you don't have to answer the question, maybe ask them a question back.
ElizabethBitzer ElizabethBitzer 4 years
I got married at 18 and had my first baby 9 months later, and the question that irritated me the most was 'why did you have a baby so soon?' Now, I've been married 5 years and we are expecting our 3rd and we hear 'You have one of each. Why do you want more?'
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